I may not be rich, but I've got lots of money
Take it down to the bar, drink along with my buddies
As we're getting tipsy, the girls will look hotter
My friend gropes one up,says "Don't worry I got her!"

Now She'll slap him up, but don't worry it's painless
Won't feel a thing, just as long as he's sh*t-faced
I look at my ale, think "oh my god I just farted!"
And slowly realize the party's only just started


Chorus:
I don't if that's the snack bowl, anymore
Can't even grasp self control, anymore
When do you think the goggles will clear?
'Cuz I'm being taken over by the beer

It's all in the taste, and less in the hops
Though it doesn't matter when you're caught by the cops
They ask me some questions, "Can you touch your nose?"
Then I walk a line, and fall face first on the road

I've also been busted by the police in public
BM'd on a bench, and they would have nothing of it
One rushes over, says "I'm taking you in"
I say "You look pretty in that dress that you're in"

Chorus

Forget about shots, and forget the martini
Last night's the last time I wear a bikini
Now I'm not sober, but I'm not a drinker
I think blacking out's a goddamn stinker

Chorus