Got my tickets fine
But I'm stuck in line
I look at progress and sigh
Cuz they stopped attacks this time
And nobody wants to die

Looking for the terrorists
Everybody get your hands up
Looking for some liquid
Everybody get your bags out
Looking for some nitro
Everybody take your shoes off
It may take all day now
Everybody please just calm down

If that bottle's wet
Can't get on the jet
They want to X-ray my pet.
There's no carry-on this time
You'll just have to sit and whine

Looking for the terrorists
Everybody get your hands up
Looking for some weapons
Everybody get unzipped now
Looking for some anthrax
Everybody get these masks on
It may take all day now
Everybody please just calm down

Looking for the terrorists
Calling in the bomb squad
I just want to leave now
Give me back my iPod
Now we gotta X-ray
Every bag and hairspray
Listen for a tick-tock
Hope it's an alarm clock

Standing in these long lines
We're preventing more crimes
Empty out my pockets
Might be hiding rockets
How long do we wait here?
Six hours or just five?
All because of real fear
Might be faster to drive

Get your hands up
Get your bags out
Get your shoes off
Get your...

Looking for the terrorists
Everybody shave your beards off
Looking for explosives
Everybody take your coats off
Looking for the bombs and
Everybody let these dogs prowl
It may take all day now
Everybody please just...