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Song Parodies -> "What's the Name of This Thing?"
Original Song Title:
"What's the Name of the Game?"
Original Performer:
Mamma Mia Soundtrack
Parody Song Title:
"What's the Name of This Thing?"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
The Flintlock Axe-gun became popular in the 16th century with Polish calvary but took until the late 17th century to become popular for use in the German territories. Mostly used a weapon of intimidation and hunting, the Jaegers used it for killing wild boar and on occasion, shooting someone. The Axe-gun was typically anywhere from 19-22" long and weighed 9-12 lbs depending on the weight of the axe blade. It was obviously front-heavy, but on the bright side could be concealed when holstered in an upright position (the gun part not visible). One could not throw this axe weapon but the axe could chop wood and limbs alike!
Flintlock enticed
For a short time
Was a Polish cavalry standard
But in Germany
It took some time
Before the Axe-Gun was adopted
Its style and the weight of its blade
Meant the fore end was heavy
But for hunters the firearm was made
Specially for boar hunting!
All they want to know:
What’s the name of this thing?
In several ways it looks too crude!
What’s the name of this thing?
Can you kill a man with it too?
Tell us please
‘Cause we have to know
We’re a curious group
So shoot… or strike a blow?
And this makes us talk
Made of wood and steel
It can strike a blow
But the gun part is revealed
Length is 22 (inches)
And it weighs 10 lbs
It‘s an oddity,
A gun that can chop wood!
Chop, Chop…
Used for killing and for food!
We wanna know
Oh yes, we wanna know
… what say the Jaegers???
For a short time
Was a Polish cavalry standard
But in Germany
It took some time
Before the Axe-Gun was adopted
Its style and the weight of its blade
Meant the fore end was heavy
But for hunters the firearm was made
Specially for boar hunting!
All they want to know:
What’s the name of this thing?
In several ways it looks too crude!
What’s the name of this thing?
Can you kill a man with it too?
Tell us please
‘Cause we have to know
We’re a curious group
So shoot… or strike a blow?
And this makes us talk
Made of wood and steel
It can strike a blow
But the gun part is revealed
Length is 22 (inches)
And it weighs 10 lbs
It‘s an oddity,
A gun that can chop wood!
Chop, Chop…
Used for killing and for food!
We wanna know
Oh yes, we wanna know
… what say the Jaegers???
Note: Germany was not united in the 17th century but was a patchwork of principalities, baronies, and dutchies. I used Germany for simplicity and rhyming sake :)
The German Flintlock Axe-Gun:
http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2010/11/24/axe-guns/
The German Flintlock Axe-Gun:
http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2010/11/24/axe-guns/
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User Comments
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Swinging it too hard might break the stock. Sounds like an impractical idea. But then again, someone did find a use for it. Sort of like the H&R pocket revolvers with the folding bayonet. Very valuable collector items. Security code for this comment "CVA" (Connecticut Valley Arms) a widely known maker/importer of black powder firearms, including replicas of the Elgin Cutlass Pistol.
It's amazing that these were so popular in the 16th-17th centuries! The axe bayonet is making a come-back through Zombie Arms which add chainsaws, spikes, axes, and swords to modern firearms- forget the military railings!!! The customs are selling well and are promoted through various Zombie Survival magazines at Gun Stores and Wal-mart :)
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