What brings me joy are all those bits of fabric you put on your skull
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
Da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
Like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
Like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), head piece

E'vryone has a hobby
Mine is to fill my lobby
With deerstalkers and jaapis
That's a hat from India; Assam, specific'lly (yeah)
That one there? That's a mitre
It makes me feel real pious
Don't think that I'll get tired
Of collectin' headgear cause there's such variety (uh)

Yeah, it's my life (yeah)
Collect all types of head covers I can find
A bearskin's just one kind
Hope it's not real bear, not nice (oh)

I got buckets of bucket hats, bud (uh-huh)
Didn't cost me too much of a buck (but)
Ev'ry rainbow colour I have got (got)
Then the combinations come, quite a lot
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
Like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (oh-ooh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh)
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
I like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (oh-oh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

I've got top hats and boaters
Tricornes, trilbys and homburgs (uh)
And yes, I do have some fedoras
Though I'm loathe to wear 'em, I must have my set complete (haha)
Toques and toques, explanation:
One's for a chef's vocation (uh)
Other's the Canuck nation's
Word for a toboggan cap that I'd call a beanie

My list of types (of types)
Of hats just might stretch on for a pretty mile
I need (I need) all kinds, can't find
Shakos for a decent price (oh)

Want birettas? Well, you can't have one (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah) (c'mon)
Might have multiples, but you can't touch (but you can't touch) (cause)
Even I won't put these on my skull (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Because then the value gets close to null
I like hats, y'all (yeah) (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (oh-oh-oh yeah-eah)
Like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (oh-ooh-ooh-ooh, buddy)
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (come see)
I like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all)

Yes, it's my life (it's my, it's my life)
To pick (I'll pick) dumb fights with eBay fools who dare snipe
That rare (that rare) porkpie, it's mine (hat is mine)
Buster Keaton wore that, right (oh)

I got chullos and caubeens and such (got multicoloured chullos)
Lots of Phrygian caps, those Smurf ones (but) (those smurfy ones)
Those party hats that are stained with blood?
Please don't ask me, that's just the state they come
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
Like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (that's right)
I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all), hats, y'all (hats, y'all)
I like da-da-da-da, I like hats, y'all (hats, y'all) (this is my life)

Want more now (what), want more now (what)
I want more now (what), I want more now (what)
Want more now (what), want more now (what)
I want more now (what), I want more now (what)
Want more now (what), want more now (what)
I want more now (what), I want more now (what)
Want more now (what), want more now (what)
I want more now (what), I want more now (what)