It's so tasty for 'bout five minutes
When the flavour's gone, just swallow it
It's just a myth that in your stomach
It will stay for five years, ain't true
And since it's fine, I shouldn't still find those
Sticky lumps beneath ev'ry damn seat
I know no-one who doesn't find it gross
So who keeps doing this? They've gotta be a douche

Gum is still found where it shouldn't go
Tables, benches, ev'ry sort of seat, how can that still be so?
Can't believe what my eyes still behold
I thought people got told that this habit's not on when they're six years old

The reasons why dopes still pull this shit
Could be many, just three in my lobes
A lot of folks who deep in their mind
Are still worried 'bout that "five years" lie
Number two: no tissues on hand
Or zero bins to dump that wad, that blows
Then there are those freaks who think it's sweet
When folks discover what they've left finger-first, gross

Gum is still found where it shouldn't go
Sure, some of it's done by small children, small pass when they're young
I still fume, parents don't keep watch
On what their kids do, no, and so gum wads get stowed 'neath chairs, no joke

Some people might ask you, by "you" I mean "me"
"Wait, why are you looking underneath your chair, though?"
Coulda dropped my phone, might be there tryna pick up chips I dropped low
Or I hate the concept, maybe, yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah

Gum is still found where it shouldn't go
Finding it's not always visual, mentioned finger touch
'Cause folks choose the edge for "best spot"
So when I want to go adjust my chair like so, the worst treasure trove
Gum is still found where it shouldn't go (yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Even though the flavour has all gone (I assume), the smell lingers on (not what it started as, hell no)
Could remove it myself, won't 'cause
That mess ain't my job, no (not crazy), also need to go throw (no maybe) my lunch up, gross (make way, dude)

Oh-oh, yeah-ee-yeah-yeah
Oh-oh-ha
Nananananana, nananananana
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh