When I called for backup for sea combat
You promised me an impressive armada, man
With aircraft carriers stocked to the bri-im
With Raptors, enough for a fleet of them
Warships loaded with huge cannons
Gonna blow our foes all the way to Uranus
But what's this pathetic little rowboa-oat
I see off the port bow? Is this a joke?

I sort of expected way more than one small boat
No, I don't think tha-at's too much for one to hope
Are you tryna force a surrender or some such nonsense?
Don't make me throw you overboard
This is a war, not some children's card game, you dope
Better have a good explanation for me
Although I'll be fair, I'll give you two minutes to warm up
While I check if that's all to-o see

Well, I'm afraid that all I see is jack
You better have a bloody good reason for that
I wanted to crush our enemies fla-at
Even though we're afloat now, don't mind that
The point I'm tryna get to, man
Is that this insubordination, I can't stand
To the president, I'll look like a do-ork
Let's just hope that we both get killed before

I'm still waiting for an explanation here, so
Mind telling me why-y you only sent one boat?
If it was a warship, I'd guess you had a tight budget
But this is going overboard
Honestly surprised that tiny thing's still afloat
A few holes and broken oars wouldn't shock me
So give me your oral report for this blatant screw-up
And how we won't all die a-at sea

"Sir, you have to trust me, this may all seem loco
But there's a surpri-ise upon that tiny boat
I plan to lull them into a false sense of secureness
When all they see's a boat with oars
Then they'll shoot it down, but one small fact they don't know:
That boat's got a few bombs, I think seventeen
And then when their flagship's blown to kingdom come, we'll swoop in
And claim a tidy victo-ory"

Should've lead with that, you nu-umpty
But I think it might work, we-e-e'll see
If it fails, you'll answer to-o me