Bachelor

I'm tired of trying on clothes I'll never get in
Its like the bottom is too tight and the top is way too thin
My wife doesn't put out, that sure isn't cool for me
I want a brand new spouse that doesn't give me lip
And access to one of the Coors light twins
And a dwarf named Ted that'll do all the chores for me
I'll need a, a big yard that's got no litter
And a big sack that has dollar bills in it
Gonna go down to the strip club and buy myself a treat
I want to stand out nude in my front yard
Look at cars driving on the boulevard
The drivers stare back and yell bad words at me
I'm gonna trade my wife for fortune and fame
I'll even tie her to a chair, and douse her in flames
We all want to feel just like bachelors
Live in run down houses
Hittin' all the bars
The girls come easy in my pimped out Jeep
We'll all get plenty, just let me get a peek
And we'll let out all the biggest farts
Eatin' KFC underneath the stars
Every good old man's gonna be my friend
Hangin' with my buddies till the sunshine glares
Hey, Hey I want to be a bachelor
I want to have all the women, without the hassles
Acquire 8 ear piercings and wear nipple tassles
Got some photographs of J-Lo, I'm wishin' she was here with me
I'm gonna dress my house with the latest attraction
I got a front row seat to the eBay auction
Got a crate by my bed
It holds all my pornos for me
I'm gonna trade my wife for fortune and fame
I'll even bound her to a chair, and douse her in flames
We all want to feel just like bachelors
Live in run down houses
Hittin' all the bars
The girls come easy in my pimped out Jeep
We'll all get plenty, just let me get a peek
And we'll let out all the biggest farts
Eatin' KFC underneath the stars
Every good old man's gonna be my friend
Hangin' with my buddies till the sunshine glares
I will never touch a broom
Playing Pictionary in my best friend's room
I'll be all alone for a little while
Wendy's ain't far, it's about a mile
Hey, Hey I wanna be a bachelor
Gonna listen to songs that offend the neighbors
Gonna lose my bills in the pop dispenser
That I stole last year from the local McDonalds
I get a drink every night like nothing is wrong
We all want to feel just like bachelors
Live in run down houses
Hittin' all the bars
The girls come easy in my pimped out Jeep
We'll all get plenty, just let me get a peek
And we'll let out all the biggest farts
Eatin' KFC underneath the stars
Every good old man's gonna be my friend
Hangin' with my buddies till the sunshine glares
And we'll hang out in private pools
My best friend is Larry, he's a bachelor too
We'll run to the store; it's within a mile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Hey, Hey, I love being a bachelor