One, two
One, two, three stars

Understandable you would frown
To my frown at how you expound (whoo)
On your utter vitriol upon the movie you can't stand
Look, it's not my fave
But it's not the worst thing out there
To be fair, stop that pissed-off stare
I don't mean that in the way
"Worse things than a bad film", that stupid phrase
All that I'm sayin' that your pot-shots are a bit
Over the top, throwin' such a fit
From dialogue that's clunky, yet
I still remember how you were shocked as shit
Oh my, my, my, now you glare with zeal
It's true, you know, freaked at the big reveal
So the scene's one big intention
Worked perfect, worth it for one sentence
That might have seemed to fail
In hindsight, which is beyond the pale - not
One botched line, you're off the rails
More than that's wrong with your tale
Of absolute movie "fails"
You hate that one random actor
Of him, always a big detractor
Because another movie that had him
Was the worst thing that could happen
Thought train's batshit, would you say
That his actin' was what made that film bad, mate?
Cast doubt on that because
You changed topics really quickly, is all
If a shared cast caused my mood to be real dour
I'd say it's my fault that I'm sour
I'm not sayin' this deserves three
Thousand Oscars or more, gah!

You pull the rants out whenever I say that's
Not really that bad, yeah (yeah-eah, ha, ha, yeah-eah)
You get so mad but it's a fact that I feel that's
Not really that bad, yeah (yeah-eah, oh-oh-oh-ah)
You love to rant loud each time that I say that's
Not really that bad, yeah (ha, ha, ha, yeah-eah)
So close to slappin', face the facts that I feel that's
Not really that bad, yeah

Should know: not great to fault
The direction cause you're sick of the "fake-out" trope
Also annoyed that they went there, see
But I plan to blame the script, for me
When one critiques, must be smarter, please
Blame the problems on the real source, geez
Like that awkward-ass CG mess, not tweaked
Since the dislikes had reached so high they could freeze
On the first of those dumb trailers, god
Research to work out who's the one at fault
Instead of slack criticisms, cause
You come off a jerk, which'll make folks balk
No R to the E to the P for you
You look dumb, which'll make what you say look bad too
Be specific in your words, what parts were shit?
What way were they bad? Be more explicit
Cause you're not an utter ass (ass) hole (hole)
You say this film sucks, they're all at fault
Cause it's awful, just the worst, absolute balls
Dreck at its vilest, other vitriol
Won't say it's a bore or just Bay-esque noise
It's a mediocre void
I watched it, blogged it, it's not that bad, honest
Not worth a fourth star of five, so half of one
Is a bit too harsh, so all I'm wantin' is
A list of the hell that this film gave in order
Cause you lash out with random buzzwords, sorta
Like a Youtube critic remixed out of order
Can't understand the way you scream online
In your blog posts and tweets and then in real life
Actin' like this film will end the whole world in due time
Cause of reasons that you dare not write, gah (gah)

I make you rant loud whenever I say that's
Not really that bad, yeah (ha-ah, yeah-eah)
It makes you mad, really can't stand that I claim that's
Not really that bad, yeah (ha-ah, yeah-eah)
Looks like you'll slap out anyone who says that's
Not really that bad, yeah (ha-ah, yeah-eah)
I only ask what's so wrong with me sayin' that's
Not really that bad, yeah

Not really that bad, yeah
Not really that bad, yeah
Not really that bad, yeah
Not really that bad, yeah

[general audience chatter]

Not that shit at all
Just a film, that's all
Not a big fat bomb
On your head, that's wrong
You're so pissed at all
Kinds of things, at faults
I admit are wrong
But you flip at all
These nitpicks, that's wrong
When you sit and watch
All these films, that's all
In your head? Nah, wrong
You're convinced that's all
Pointless shit, damn all
Those critics, all wrong
Film's legit, rad bomb

I'm not sayin' you can't change your mind, no
I'm just sayin' you're bein' an asshole
Big mood shift from the plot twist's arrival
To right now, you're a bit in denial
Feels like we're in an unendin' spiral
Like we're runnin' a well-busted vinyl
You do your "the worst movie" recital
I do my "that's a bit much" reprisal
While your rage gets a tad homicidal
Makes me wish I had the strength to cycle
But to bring you right out of denial
Is a need of mine that's almost primal
Feels so needed for long-term survival
Of enjoyin' the long movie cycles
Cause I feel your enjoyment is stifled
By a need for more clickbait-y titles
Like "THE WORST MOVIE EVER, THAT'S FINAL!!1"
Anythin' that could go a bit viral
I'm not sayin' this film's your new idol
It's a "meh", many scenes that go idle
Find perspective, don't just flick the bridle
On the "worst damn film" horse, so recycled
No big deal, but it's more than a trifle