Hey, its Survivor,
let's continue watching TV,
I haven't left this filthy couch,
since the 1970s.
Oh wait I have.
But boy those bathroom breaks were fast,
I didn't bathe

Hey its The Bachelor,
watching this show makes me cry.
I have only had one date,
since my poor old momma died,
ten years ago...
And that date was with a ho,
she paid to go.

Oh, it's what you do to me.
Oh, it's watching you TV.
Oh, it's what you do to me.
Oh, reality TV.
Addicted to TV.

Hey look its idol,
I think Randy's really cute,
Paula Abdul is a sycophant,
and Ryan makes me puke.
I bet I'd win,
the moment Cowell hears me sing,
he'd be my queen.

I'm a Coach Potato,
that much I already know.
What I didn't see back then,
was just how much my bulk would grow.
My plain white Ts,
I no longer fit in as I please,
Can't see my knees.

Oh, its what you do to me.
Oh, french fries, burgers, Pepsi
Oh, my waistlines' sixty three,
weights' three hundred kg
Blame Mac delivery.

The TV box seems pretty far,
no idea where my remotes are,
I'd walk to it if my legs could stand the weight.
I give thanks for cable TV,
this is my true reality,
so what if I'm in a vegetative state

And buddy look, I promise you,
If you change channels before this show is through,
your face will never ever be the same,
oh what a shame.

Hey Mitsubishi,
Writing about that warranty,
you see my TV's broken down,
so I demand a high def LCD,
completely free.
Please send it quickly for you see,
The Amazing Race is on at three,
the withdrawal signs are killing me,
yours truly, T.

Oh, look what you did to me,
Oh, severe obesity
Eyesight's one thousand degrees.
Oh, I'm addicted can't you see,
to Reality TV.