She was born in Ashville, Carolina
Coolidge was the Prez and mom a moonshina
To Alabama she would take all the horses
She delivered moonshine to all the golf courses
She never knew that there was anything wrong with that
'Cause she was po', there was no welfare back in '24

Black Cadillac, she's on the attack
Drivin' 26 and ignorin' all the flack
Needs a walker, though she used to be a runner
Now she's in the way, makin' everybody stumble
Lookin' through her glasses, they must be forty fives
But she needs them in order to survive

California hold your peace
ADA protects her, she has needs
Though she doesn't have no teeth
Buys her waxes with your taxes, yeah, yeah

She's a loudmouth, baby, and a fighter
Arnold shoulda made his budget a little tighter
With a gal like Granny California
She's 82, but we don't have to mourn her
She'll live another ten, don't you hold your breath
waitin' for her death

California hold your peace
ADA protects her, she has needs
Though she doesn't have no teeth
Buys her waxes with your taxes, yeah, yeah

We know the other side of her
She wears Depends, uses Preparation H
She sends her bills to Medicare
The public pays for her every ache

First to fade her once-great vision
Her ears are gone now, thanks to the television
Still draws unemployment from the state of Minnesota
No longer needed her to fill any quota

Now in L.A. she is savin' every dime
She never makes an appointment on time
Drives too slow...

California hold your peace
ADA protects her, she has needs
Though she doesn't have no teeth
Buys her waxes with your taxes, yeah, yeah