Song Parodies -> "(I Feel) Like a Cow"

Original Song Title:

"Take a Bow"

Original Performer:

"(I Feel) Like a Cow"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

As I myself wear between a 12-14, I am not criticizing those of us ladies who wear that size. In fact, the average American woman wears between a 12 and a 14. This song, rather, is based on my experience of trying on clothes in most traditional mall stores, only to discover that most of the clothes don't fit because the 12's and 14's in those particular stores fit a woman who wears a 10. (The exception to this is Hollister, as their largest sizes are made to fit a 6 or an 8.)

I need a fourteen in that dress, please
You really don’t have a size fourteen?
I’ll just go then

I feel so fat right now
Standing inside this stall
Trying to zip up a dress
Made a size smaller than mine
‘Cause I love it so

Don’t tell me I’m too fat to shop here
Because I can squeeze into these clothes most of the time
But I really want this dress
Black with pretty sequins
The belt defines my waist
Gives me an hourglass
Makes my ass look big
Like Jennifer Lopez
But I can’t buy it (No, I can’t buy it)
‘Cause I feel like a cow

Putting my clothes back on (back on)
I gotta hurry up
Before I start to lose face (lose face)
Accused of
Breaking a zipper or two
And ripping a couple seams
I just want those clothes

Don’t tell me I’m too fat to shop here
Because I can squeeze into these clothes most of the time
I just saw a pair of pants
With a nice leopard print
They’re in a size fourteen
I must get them before
Another girl does
And decides to buy them
But they do not fit (No, they do not fit)
Oh, I feel like a cow

Must I start a diet?
Maybe an exercise plan (exercise)
Lately I just can’t seem (can’t seem)
To fit into anything here
Guess there’s always Kohl’s

I know they carry a fourteen
And have really cute clothes

Designer clothes are cheap here
Lots of lines to choose from
Simply Vera Wang
L.C. Lauren Conrad
Jennifer Lopez
Elle and Daisy Fuentes
I found paradise (I found paradise)
I don’t feel like a cow
Don’t feel like a cow

Rebekah Dub on YouTube

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Blaydeman - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment

I like the topic and the Idea was good, but to be honest, you lacked in execution. You completely tossed out the rhyme scheme through most of the song which makes it sound very awkward when said out loud. It had it's funny parts, but not having a rhyme scheme really throws it off track. I like most of your stuff, so I was really shocked when I read this. Sorry, I'm just trying to help you develop more as a writer. Just a curiousity, why did you get rid of the rhyme scheme?

Rebekah Dub - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment

I'm glad you enjoy a lot of my stuff, and I appreciate (and welcome) your constructive advice. I'm always working to develop as a writer/parodist. Rhyming has never been a strong point for me. Because of this, I write many of my pieces in free verse. Toward the end, I was going for the designer references to try to prove the speaker's support of Kohl's vs. the Other Store, thinking about emphasis rather than rhyming. Also, I was trying to tell a story, like I do in a lot of my pieces, hence not realizing the rhyme scheme. Thank you again for your advice. =)

Blaydeman - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment

Ok I see what you saying with the story telling and the use of free verse as a writing technique and it does have it's merit. And I did enjoy the story a lot, so your plan worked there, but it is possible to tell a story but keep the rhyme scheme in tact. You can look at a lot of the more experienced writers such as Matthias, Below Average Dave, and Agrimorfee and see that a lot of their parodies do tell stories while also maintaining the rhyme scheme. If you have trouble with your rhyming skills, check out rhymezone.com. It's really easy to use, it will give you as many rhymes for a word as you can think of and more. You can even check out one of my parodies that won one of the contests this site hosts that tells a story while keeping the rhyme. http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/wham40.shtml And I appreciate the your openness to constructive criticism, many people on this site aren't. So thank you.

Rebekah Dub - January 12, 2012 - Report this comment

No problem. I'm happy you enjoyed the story. I don't think I've seen Agrimorfee's work, but I've seen work from Matthias and Below Average Dave, and I enjoy their stuff -- especially that of Below Average Dave. (He's got some funnies, and I enjoy parodies that give me a laugh.) Your Wham! parody was cute... will comment on that in a sec. (Just voted!) I've got Rhymezone open, so I can give that a try. Perhaps I can bookmark it so I can access it regularly when I'm working on a parody... or even a poem. I've been writing since I was a young girl (wrote my first parody in 7th grade), but despite that I'm always working to become a better writer, and I value the opinions of my fellow writers. That's what we're all here for, right?

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