Oh, how I hate it when you complain
When you sit around at home all day,
Watch TV, and eat Little Debbie snacks
While I do all the grocery shopping

Is it really too much to ask to help
Me ev-e-ry once in a blue moon
Lately I’ve been really busy with school
And work negotiating a raise

Oh my, oh my, oh my
Oh my, oh my, oh my
Can’t you see
I’m overwhelmed

Oh, what the f--k ever
I have to study for my
Microeconomics test
And I’m failing the class

And then after that I
Have to take dear Fluffy to
The veterinarian
For her monthly check-up

Consider yourself lucky that I have
Not followed through and throttled you
Despite having threatened you many times
As I was nearing my boiling point

I’ve made us a chart during my spare time
Posted on the refrigerator
At eye-level so you can see it
That way you’ll give me one less excuse

Oh my, oh my, oh my
Oh my, oh my, I am
Tired of
Your excuses

Oh, what the f--k ever
You have yet to do something
About that toupee you’ve been
Sporting for many years

It’s falling off your head
And people stand on the street
Either staring or laughing
And it’s embarrassing

Oh my, oh my, oh my
Oh my, oh my, oh my
Did I just
Hear a loud belch

Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my
I smell it from here
Get a mint
Or a Tic-Tac

Oh, what the f--k ever
You have absolutely no
Class and you have no manners
And you’re lazy as hell

Don’t mean to sound tacky
But I’m just being honest
I cannot let you go
The way you’ve been letting yourself go

Oh, what the f--k ever
You really think you have it
Bad, well listen to me, Bud,
I could not get a raise

In fact, I got fired
And I failed my econ test
I think I’m going gray
From all the stress you put me through