Lucky that I smell and I'm really hairy,
Because i take showers very rarely.
Lucky that I'm ugly like Osama,
I see him often "en la cama."

Baby it's a wonder that my face is so scary,
Some people even say that I look thugly.
I'm so repulsive I don't think I'll marry,
No one ever wants to hug me.

Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le,
Can't you see,
There's fungus on my feet!

Whenever,
Wherever,
Me and monkies belong together.
I look just like chimpanzees,
I'm even growing fleas.

Thereover,
Hereunder,
Oh baby it's a wonder,
That there could on this Earth be,
Someone as ugly as me.

(music)

Lucky I have spider veins like my mother,
My stomach's so flabby can't you see it?
Lucky my arms jiggle with mounds of blubber,
I think I'll make the cover of Victoria's Secret.

Lucky that my clothes are old and shaggy,
They make the homeless look like fashion queens.
Lucky that my breasts are really saggy,
They're about the size of lima beans.

Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le,
Like your feet,
Boy do I wreak!

Whenever,
Wherever,
It looks like I'll be fat forever,
I've tried Jenny Craig and Slim Fast,
But it looks like I'm stuck with this fat ass.

Thereover,
Hereunder,
My rolls will make you wonder,
How could I be so obese?
When will my weight decrease?

Le do le le le le, Le do le le le le,
Oh my god,
I ripped my pants again!

Le do le le le le lo le
Tell me one more time,
That you'll live,
Lost in my thighs!

Whenever,
Wherever,
I have no smarts whatsoever.
I'm so dumb it makes me laugh
When God made my brain he gave me half.

Thereover,
Hereunder,
My farts erupt like thunder.
They explode out of my cheeks,
They make the whole room wreak.