Well, I've owned a lot of cars since high school
I drove some junk along the way
From a rusty Ford with a broken taillight
To the minivan I've got today

Now I feel an itch and I've got the scratch
'Cause my stocks are flying high right now
When I saw this little honey on the showroom floor
Well, all I could say was "Wow!"

I tell you she's the one
For the road
Well, unlock the door, hand me the key
Gonna rule the road in my S.U.V.
Gonna rule the road in my S.U.V.

I've never seen such a cool machine
It's got a stack of standard luxuries
Like heated seats and four-wheel drive
And a rack on top to haul my skis

Well the salesman asked if I want to take a drive
I told the man, "You bet your life"
After 15 minutes I said, "Where do I sign?
I don't think I even need to call my wife."

I tell you she's the one
For the road
Well, I'll buckle up and turn the key
Gonna rule the road in my S.U.V.
Gonna rule the road in my S.U.V.

There's room for everything I own
You know I want to make this deal
Can you throw in the mobile phone?
Oh all right, but even at that price, it's a steal

The wife just stared when I brought it home
She went in to pour herself a drink
I gave her a grin and a peck on the cheek
And said, "Now tell me, sugar, what you think"

She said, "The payments are going to break your back;
You got a lousy trade-in on the Dodge;
It takes 42 gallons to fill the tank up;
It doesn't even fit in our garage!"

Then I'll park The Beast
On the road
Oh, those puny cars look up to me
Now I rule the road in my S.U.V.
Now I rule the road in my S.U.V.
Now I rule the road in my S.U.V.
(Gotta get some gas for my S.U.V.)