Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Whoo! There any talent in here?
Hell no, it seems
That ev'ry single time there's a spoof film, I think it's
At least ten kinds of shit
Oh, oh (whoo!)

Some say my search is hopeless, don't I know it, but I still wanna find (whoo, whoo, uh, whoo)
Jokes that aren't just boners, farts and hopin' the viewer's brain-dead, right (whoo, whoo, whoo)
When the film the spoof film's based on, the bleak horror film it's based on
Has way more jokes that land than this, somethin's really wrong with this
And I know it's not just me, it's way more than just me
Who thinks it's plain sad to see (hoo)

The standards have slipped down, it's true
"Just fill it with stars, they'll cover the crap
Who needs writin'?" Good films do
How's this so hard for you? Ooh-ooh
Base gags are not how you lampoon
Uh, afraid that it's true, ooh-ooh
Dick jokes are not how you lampoon
Uh, just because Stallone said "boob", buddy
Truth is that's now how you lampoon

And when they're not sayin' somethin' blatantly so cliché like "women, am I right?" (ah-ah-ah-ah)
Naught satirical to see, the plot's retold badly, no comment'ry to spy (oh-oh-oh)
Not expectin' a new Spaceballs, want a little research, that's all
These hacks watch the trailer and think "Let's base our whole film off this!"
Nothin' subtle I can see, just one big bad joke spree
Ref'rences aren't comedy (oh-ho-oh) (hoo)

They're less funny than clowns, it's true (don't like clowns, it's true)
So below the bar, Earth's crust has been cracked (that's a metaphor, these movies won't have 'em, buddy)
Characters are dumb or crude (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh)
Always talk down to you (down talkin'), yes, right down to you (ooh-ooh)
And that's just not how you lampoon (whoo)
Uh, don't repeat lines, dude, ooh-ooh (quit it)
Because that's not how you lampoon (hoo)
Uh, rather watch paint dry than you, buddy
Asshole, that's not how you lampoon

There's ample proof that a parody film can work
Not that you could guess that (ay, ay, Mel Brooks was real good at this)
Thanks to that Seltzerberg (ay, now they're screwed, aha, ay)

Uh, uh, uh, they're far from painless
No, no, no, let me explain it
They can't focus on one film, strainin'
Crammin' in so much, it seems quite shameless
Ev'ry trailer that they gave a like
Will show up, castin' their net so wide
I'm not addin' 'em up
Once stuck to a genre, now stackin' 'em up (whoo, whoo)
From rom-com to horror, not wrappin' it up
The film critics will blast 'em, no lappin' it up
Not just because they're holdin' a grudge
It's cause they stink, ev'ry one-liner's limp, afraid it's true they all suck (cause it's not how you lampoon)
Don't be cheatin', cause I'll shut you down, dude
Not ev'ry comic setpiece is a spoof, now you
Claim a pastiche is the same thing, don't make me shout, dude
You've made it clear, you plain don't know how to (dumbass, not how you lampoon)
Discern spoof from satire, I doubt you
Would know the diff'rence, though I know how I sound, dude (ooh-ooh, oh)
Gone into "belittle" mode, come off as a loud douche
Don't mean I hate you cause you've seen 'bout a round few
But, uh, don't have to bow to
Me, uh, you're still allowed to
Like, uh, whatever you want, be proud, don't mean to knock you down, dude
Ha, hang on, you're all hatin' 'em too?
Hate it when I read people bad, cause they'll hate me too
Wait, never explained what makes a spoof (hoo, uh)
Diffrent from satire and pastiche, true (it's still not how you lampoon)

Uh, would be a waste, dude, ooh-ooh
Cause that's still not how you lampoon
Uh, mistake "funny" for "real crude", buddy
I said that's not how you lampoon
Shouldn't be surprised that no buzz gets built up, jerk