Song Parodies -> "I'd Skate But I Would End Up Bruised"

Original Song Title:

"I Hate Everything About You"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"I'd Skate But I Would End Up Bruised"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Yes, This is autobiographical I sucked at playing Tony Hawk so I never wanted to try to skateboard or Rollerblade because of it...

In this game I tried to skate
But I wound up in the lake
I'd be squealing and I'd sweat
At a skate-park, It's a threat

All my bones I bet I'd break
I'd lose an eye and skin my leg
Intense beatings I would get
On a skateboard I would fret

Playing... Tony Hawk... It makes me panicked...

I'D! SKATE! But I would end up bruised!
NO! I WON'T! JOIN YOU!!!
I'D! SKATE! But my teeth I would lose!
YOU'D! SEE MY! BLOOD OOZE!!!

Quarter pipe's a piece of cake
Once the cheat codes are in place
I'd be speeding like a jet
Right into your parked Corvette

In these blades I'd drop since I'm a dimwit

I'D! SKATE! But I would end up bruised!
SMASHED! INTO! A SPRUCE!!!
I'D! SKATE! If I downed kegs of booze!
I'M A NER-VOUS, DUDE!!!

You'd need... a fresh mop... to clean up... brain goo...
I blow
It'd bring... out the cops... Looks like... a crime scene
It's so gross

I'D! SKATE! But this sport makes me puke!
ON! MY! P! S2!!!
YOU! SKATE! Like it's so damn easy
WHEELS! THERE ON! YOUR FEET!!!

I'D SKATE!!!
AND BREAK!!!
MY FACE!!!
I'M SUCKING!!!!

I'D! SKATE! But I would end up bruised!
I! WOULD BE! SO SCREWED!!!

This song has been in a few video games like Karaoke Revolution & Rock Band 3 but sadly not Tony Hawk's Pro Skater... Until now! (Also I mentioned the PS2 because of my own memories of playing in on that system but it's been on other's as well)

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - January 18, 2017 - Report this comment

Have you seen the new one-wheel hoverboards yet? You had to balance on the old ones, but new ones have so-called "self-balancing!" No thanks! 555!

Larry Hensley - January 18, 2017 - Report this comment

I used to skate a lot years ago, and thought this was funny, 5's

Jim Handy - January 18, 2017 - Report this comment

Larry, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I look forward to your deep thoughts.

Callmelennie - January 19, 2017 - Report this comment

^ By all means, let's all dogpile on Larry ... 'cause the last thing this website needs is a little positive re-inforcement. No, let's drive the Larry and the Jonathan types away so we can achieve what we all secretly yearn for -- a daily readership in single digits

Serious as a heart attack - January 19, 2017 - Report this comment

^ who are you? The Parodist Advocate?

Roman Hruska - January 19, 2017 - Report this comment

CML, support literacy and smart discourse. Reject empty blurts and dogged mediocrity. High standards encourage intelligent readership and superior parodies.

Matthias - January 19, 2017 - Report this comment

Thank you Rob, Larry and CML. It's people like you that keep me writing!

Larry Hensley - January 19, 2017 - Report this comment

Actually I did have it correct: I used to skate a lot, years ago. Just forgot a comma

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