The Lyrics
My art sucks, plain to see
Yeah, yeah, yeah (mm, mm, mm, mm, mm)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (mm, mm, mm, mm, mm)
I can't draw a damn thing
Yeah, yeah, (mm, mm, mm, mm, mm)
I know I'm no Monet
Know I'm no da Vinci paintin' Mona's face
Might compare me to Picasso
But at least with him it was on purpose, okay
Cubism, word
Oh, dunno why I draw when I know there's no ski-ill in me, yeah
Ev'ry scribble is one I wish I cou-ould unsee (oh) geez
Whether happy clouds or somethin' da-ark and blea-eak
Damn the clouds, I can't get 'em ri-ight
All my work is shit, my own worst critic
Cause I'm well aware I fail at art
Tried charcoal a bit, smudged it all to shit
It's just more proof that I fai-ail at art
Watercolours? Please, mine's too runny
Wrecked the paper cause I fail at art
You'd think I'd take the hint, but I keep at it
Don't know why, know I'm so shite
"It's no Mona Lisa"
That sure is one hell of an understatement
Not sayin' you're idiotic
But to not see my art is crap means you're quite dense
It makes me hurl
Oh, I've tried stickmen but my pics are still bad a-as can be-e, yeah
Colour someone else's work? Can't do tha-at worth beans (oh) geez
Even tracing looks hideous do-one by me-e
Friggin' hands, they can't draw things ri-ight
I've read lots of tips, haven't worked for shit
Cause, as you can see, I fail at art
Almost got it, shit! Broken pencil tip
Another reason I fai-ail at art
Photoshop? Please, screw up hotkeys
Just another way I fail at art
I tried that inking shit, but all of it dripped
Right on my shoes, see, I fai-ail at art (yeah)
Oh my word (yeah, yeah)
I just tried the collage route, I just threw up in my mouth
Oh my flippin' word (yeah, yeah)
Tried to sculpt but that's a nope, no Michaelangelo
I'm sayin' oh my word (yeah, yeah)
Claimed my art-fails are po-mo, could be the way to go
But what happened, my word (yeah, yeah)
Po-mo critics said it was crap, guess I'm doomed to crap, yeah
Art critics are too picky, no pleasin' them
But pleasin' me's a story quite different
Like Jagger, can't get no satisfaction
Although why I still continue I just can't fathom
Don't have to take my word
I've got 'bout a shitload of rooms packed full of shitty art
Can't even sketch in dirt
Don't dare say that you like my art, to me it's arse
Oh, there's no audience for my work, you can't co-onvince me, yeah
Haven't tried DeviantArt, though I kno-ow it's free (oh) geez
I've heard stories 'bout trolls, don't want the-em on me-e
Even so, my work is still shi-ite
Know I won't get hits cause my work is shit
It's a proven fact I fail at art
Not gonna try it, won't register a blip
Ev'rybody knows I fai-ail at art
All of these critiques that I've framed, see
Prove to the world that I fail at art
Yes, I wrote them, you twit, no other critic
That I trust, and thus I fai-ail at art
Try this online shit, no way in hell, git
There's no point because I fail at art
My art's total shit, no-one's gonna click
Just one glance they'll see I fai-ail at art
Pretend to be me, so that I'll see
That I, in fact, do not fail at art?
You've already done it, and there's tons of hits?
Can't be right, not right, they're lies