Song Parodies -> "My Hit List"

Original Song Title:

"My List"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"My Hit List"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

I don't know why, but songs about bad guys are always fun to write...

Get paid to kick ass is my fate
With a list of guys who I must slay
First the pimp Hank and a couple whores
This Hitman job is a freaking chore
I cross 'em off as they all get gunned
It keeps me out of debt
There's still more than a few dudes left
I need to send out threats

That Chinese Wok
The owner over there
Then to plan the death of singer Cher
Put on some gloves to leave no prints
I can't give the cops any kinda hint
Blood and gore sure looks fine
On that job resume of mine
I need to torch the house of that guy from Kiss
Gene Simmons! That's the next guy on my list

Like to play God with their fates
Now Will Ferrell's become shark bait
If you're not dead you're in a sling
Cause that is how they train these things
I'm not caught dead in a suit or tux
And I won't even shave
I used to dress up fancy
But I hated the blood stains

Got eyes like a hawk
Strong as a bear
I drink a whole lot then cuss and swear
As you can tell I'm a bad ass
I'll have you walk on broken glass
You'll hear my roar and you'll just whine
Cause this warehouse will be your shrine
I'm from New York and I've got accent
A villian? That is what I'm called I guess

A taxi to Hell
This job is cursed
Flames I won't survive if I live at church
Cause I've got folks blown to bits
And set up many other hits
Make your fate! Now for cheap!
I'm not mean, but need money
I am the best at this murdering biz
A gold ribbon! I am wearing on my chest

Who's trying out brick shoes today?
It's the leader singer of The Fray...

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Jeff Reuben - June 26, 2008 - Report this comment

Not bad...not my favorite of yours. But a nice change to country :)

Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccatesta - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment

HEY-E OVAH 'EAH HUH? Lissin ups 'eah Mattereno - ows boud yous contraktin' owt fer my innerprize - jus a tribude ovah eah an ovah dere iz alls wot its gonna takes fer yous ta git onta the WMB payrolled. Frenge bendifits iz exlant. Wez gotz an opending wots jus came up - pore pore Vinnie now iz sleepi' wit da feeches - he wuz allwayz a exsiteabel boy an gotz ta be a bid ovah entusiastick so he got im an early retiredmend. Hiz fambly iz bein' taken care of witch az you no iz owah way. Tink 'boud id. Woodent yous wantz da best fo yous fambly? I like yous rezumay - id kinna haz a riddem 'boud id. Um makin' yous an offert dat yous shud not tern id down. Call my boyz Stitch and Tony 2-Times at (555) HITSRUS an dey kin hook yas up. 2-LOUD OUTTA 'EAH..

Guy - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment

Matt - I was going to tell you about the job opportunity but Carmine beat me to it. I like this. Well done. And Carmine used up my vote because he doesn't have his own computer. Hell, he can't even login he is so clueless about the technology. I'm surprised that he figured out how to vote. But as an entrepreneur he is 2nd to none. Mob parodies are the best! Thanks for writing this - quite enjoyable.

Agrimorfee - July 07, 2008 - Report this comment

(Amiright Idol) Matty, you are trying to be Guy DeRito here, I can see, but this came off rather weak, just IMHO. Country parodies work best with a great punchline in every verse, and I just didn't get that here.

Wolverine - July 09, 2008 - Report this comment

I was going to ask why Cher and Gene...but when you whacked Will Ferrell, all was forgiven. Thank You! I didn't see this necessarily as a mob parody, Matty's a freelancer.

Below Average Dave - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment

(AmIRight Idol) Well Matthias, this has a backing track. It seems this round has become a country round. . .anyway. I don't know Matty. Your word play and pacing were great. No major grammar issues, but this one wasn't very funny in my book. I guess part of that is I don't hate a lot of the people who targeted, but that aside I just don't think that the story of a real hit man is really all that comedious, perhaps a fictional character hitman or something of that nature would make this one more WOW worthy you know?

Red Ant - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment

Kudos for spoofing yet another richly deserving target, Matt. "Cause that is how they train these things" kinda clunked and "I'm from New York and I've got accent"... if this were recorded, you know Dave or I are going to put in an "an" before "accent". Minor gripage aside, this was pretty good.

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