Us cats are great and have such grace
Them dogs are stupider. See his face? Hey, hey
You say, "dogs do tricks," yeah right, puh-leeez
That dog's best talent are his circus fleas. Hey, hey
He barked at his foot for an hour today
Meanwhile I made this sign 'round my neck that says:

"Hey, hey
Sell me, I'm tired of being 'round that mutt
Keeps coming over to sniff my butt
Next time he's near that part
I'm letting out a Kit 'N Kaboodle fart
This house is, too small for the both of us
Go ahead and shoot him if you must
I just can't sit here while he's licking at himself down there"

He chases his tail in an endless loop
You have to walk him daily and pick up his poop. Hey, hey
You taught him how to play dead last spring
About time to teach him the real thing. Hey, hey
Now that his head's in the toilet bowl
I'm afraid that I must give it a flush
An ungreat Dane with a soggy fur coat
I put a sign 'round his neck, pulled out a marker and wrote:

"Sell me, I'm tired of being man's best friend
More fond of the cat's rear end
Why'd you even buy me, dude?
I only like you for your food
Sell me, I watch your house so badly
I'm much too busy watching "Lassie"
And I can't miss this one 'cause Timmy's stuck in a well somewhere"

I saw him eating that old, trashed, deep-fried chicken
His stank tongue is always sticking out his mouth
Even when he's asleep
I can't stand his so-wrong, day-long digging
A 5 hour bone excavation
I moved it over to the neighbor's yard last week

Sell me, I'm tired of being 'round that mutt
Keeps coming over to sniff my butt
Next time he's near that part
I'm letting out a Kit 'N Kaboodle fart
This house is, too small for the both of us
Go ahead and shoot him if you must
I just can't sit here while he's licking at himself down there

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
I think I saw him peeing on the Christmas tree
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
He can smell my Kit N' Kaboodle fart, smell my Kit N' Kaboodle fart
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Why is he only licking himself down there?