think I'll spend my money on fries today
I'm so friggin' starving-get outta my way
ate all my veggies and fruits yesterday
yeah, I think I'm doin' all right

some might call me a potato brute
feel kinda cozy when I have to poop
no shame sittin' in a senior's booth
yeah, i'm doin' all right

And it's a great, big plate of fries
salt and pepper's gonna burn my eyes
hey, here comes red riding hood
now why can't every day be just this good?

it's been about two hours since I left home
two and a half since I sat on my throne
smelled so bad, so I left it alone
hey, I hope they're doin' all right (are you still alive?)

joked to the waitress "Are these fries free?"
she snapped back, "Are you friggin' kidding me?!"
I smiled and said, "No, really. Please?"
God forbid I'm not doin' all right

And it's a great, big plate of fries
salt and pepper burnin in my eyes
hey, here comes red riding hood
now why can't every day be just this good?

sometimes I'm lonely
sometimes it's the only
way to make these fries taste this good

I know that I'm stalling
hey, who are you calling?
"The boys in bluuuuuuue!"
"Oh, shooooooooon!"

Well, It was time again for me to poop
looked at the throne and I hollared "Pewwww!"
slammed down the lid and I almost puked
Damn!

It was a great, big plate of fries
now it's potato with green leaf chives
but the guard says, "We've got good food."
oh, why can't I be in a better mood?
It was a great, big plate of fries
Missing the taste and crying out my eyes
Why can't I be back in my neighborhood?
And now I really don't have it so good......

Owwwwww shoooooon!
Owwwwww shoooooon!