Spending most of the time reading Archie digest books
And see my favorite guy Reggie Mantle
Though the worst thing about Jughead was his stupid crown
But from now on, that hat is really much of a hassle

I would feel happy if you choose to kill off Jughead
'cause his hat had really gone too far
You didn't put a "cease and desist" order on that hat of his
And make him more likely called "Forsythe" than "Jughead", is that smart?

But please kill Jughead off
Make him drink six shots of Smirnoff
You can't kill someone else like you know that would
But kill only Jughead off

Ethel's still getting him down, he has to be dating Big Moose
At least you can put a hate in your heart
Nobody in Archie Comics have ever killed off before
Except for Jughead Jones, because his hat had gone too far

So please kill Jughead off
Rude 'bout his hat that can't back off
You can't kill someone else like you know that would
But kill only Jughead off

Don't hurt any feelings of fans including me
That mostly favor on Reggie Mantle than Archie, Ron and Betty
I'm still looking forward to the day Jug will officially die
All I'm askin' is "Steven Butler, please!"

Just kill Jughead off
Or I'll scream 'til my head blows off
You can't kill someone else like you know that would
But kill only Jughead off

Please kill Jughead off!
I still can't cover my mouth when I cough
You can't kill someone else like you know that would
But kill only Jughead off

Please kill Jughead off
That hat must be his evil turn-off
You can't kill someone else like you know that would
But kill only Jughead off