Yo, home check, home check
There people home?
Is there anyone here?
Hey, where the hell are all of my things?
They've been nicked! (nicked)
There's been a break-in

(Nicked)
Hey (hey) where the hell is my toaster?
Guess it has been nicked
Who would take my old toaster?
Who? Who? Man, who?

Hey
Why're my wires so empty?
Cuz there's nothin' plugged into them, dummy!
Hear that? How there's no ethereal humming?
You can't, there's no freezer to make it, buddy
Hey, and I'm hungry now, but
My food was stored in the freezer, damnitt
Check the pantry? You think I'm really that dumb?
I checked them and they have been picked clean by someone
I've got a hunch that there's a link, and
Who took my stuff, well he must've been starved, man
I think that he went too far, look around
Like a one-aparment ghost town
Well, shit

Hey (hey) where the hell is my oven?
Bet it has been nicked
(Hey, hey)
Who would take my cold oven?
Oh why, why, why?
(Nicked)
Hey (hey) I could sure use a muffin
My supplies were nicked
Guess I bought 'em for nothin'
Oh why, why, why?

Uh uh uh
I gotta question, I need to ask somebody
Why would he leave the wires when he nicked the TV?
Was he thinkin' like "Ooh, widescreen, what a score
But I don't want them danglin' cords makin' mess after me"
But oh wait, whoa, must be shittin'
Me, how did that little dickens steal my movie collection?
'Cause it filled three whole bookshelves up
Why'd he kill time to snatch it all up?
Uncanny, the cat burglar nicked both my cars
Taking it higher, somehow didn't trip the alarm
Where would he hide all the stuff he's nicked, somewhere on Mars?
I'm just, holy crap, it's crazy, holy
Shit

Hey (hey) where the hell is my kettle?
Bet it has been nicked
(Hey, hey)
Who would take my new kettle?
Oh why, why, why?
(Nicked)
Hey (hey) I could sure use a coffee
Water boiler's nicked
Bastard stole all my toffees
Oh why, why, why?
Hey (hey)

Yeah, I'm just gonna stand here, yeah
I'm just too shocked too act, I'm amazed

It just seams really hard to do, that
I ain't sidin' with the robber dude, man
All I'm takin' is a moment or two to
Sort out how he pulled this heist-a-roo, man
Get your phone, dude, call the cops, man
You might wanna get an amb'lance too, man
Cause my brain may well snap in two, dude
Sortin' out this master heist-a-roo, man

Hey (hey)

That's what I'm thinkin' bout, how'd he pull that off?
That's what I'm thinkin' bout, how'd he pull that off?
That's what I'm thinkin' bout, how'd he pull that off?
That's what I'm thinkin' bout (thinkin' bout, thinkin' bout,)
Nicked

Hey (hey) where the hell is my toilet?
Bet it has been nicked
(Hey, hey)
Who would take the damn toilet?
Oh why, why, why?
(Nicked)
Hey (hey) I'm now rather uncomfy
Since the bog's been nicked
Even pinched all the damn trees
Oh why, why, why?
(Nicked)
Hey (hey) why are there empty door-frames?
The doors have been nicked
(Hey, hey)
Not the band, that's just too strange
Oh why, why, why?
(Nicked)
Hey (hey) I could sure use a stiff drink
The house has been nicked
Only cords left, neat trick
Oh why, why, why?
Nicked