Your greeting is just a bore
You spilled water all on the floor
Lord only knows what they hired you for
Should have bought our meal from the grocery store
You just cannot do it, waiting tables
This guy is dumb, we should leave

Then you screwed up our order, so sue me
Supposed to be two hamburgers, not turkey
Then you come back, and serve us fried bologna
Who had hired this guy for waiting tables, waiting tables?

Thumb is in my pie, I see (oooh)
Add up the cost, an error’s found!
And you were quite surprisingly rude
“If you want some wine, bro, you can pop your own damn cork out”
I can’t stand this shlub who’s waiting tables
Blundering bum, got me peeved

Will this, guy give us an apology —no!
He won’t give you, you a nice dessert free
Never have I, seen so much apathy
Why did they hire this guy for waiting tables? Waiting tables…

Next time I’ll be braver, I’ll complain about the flavor
Post on Yelp, rate it lowly!
Next time I’ll be slicker, I’ll be a bad tipper
That will make my day complete

Don’t you bother trying to placate me, no
I won’t ask you, you to refill drinks, see?
Don’t want pepper, on my tetrazzini
You just should not be out--- waiting tables
Stop waiting tables, waiting tables…yeah
Oh no….