Song Parodies -> "Nero (Please Don't Be)"

Original Song Title:

"Heroes (We Could Be)"

Original Performer:

Alesso ft. Tove Lo

Parody Song Title:

"Nero (Please Don't Be)"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You know the story, Nero fiddled while Rome burned. You'd think that such a situation, burned (heh) into the pop-cultural landscape, would mean no idiot would actually do such a thing. Never underestimate the complete stupidity of some people...

You're aware that we could die, right?
The whole goddamn building's gonna be dust
Need to make a plan to fly, right
Don't be such a numpty, we need to run
Ev'ryday people do sensible things but I
Know you don't like them
Disaster does abound, not shielded from it, right
Just cause you're rich as shit

Please don't be Nero
Please don't be Nero, need to move
Please don't be Nero
Please don't be Nero, need to move
Please don't be

Don't say running is for cowards
That's just talk for folks with heads up their ass
We've got less than half an hour
Before ev'rything comes down in a crash
Ignorant people do ignorant things, yes, I'm
Calling you that, twit
I know you hear me now, also know you're not blind
Wealth's the wrong safety net

Please don't be Nero
Please don't be Nero, need to move
Please don't be Nero
Please don't be Nero, need to move
Please don't be

Please don't be Nero
Please don't be Nero, need to move
Please don't be

Thought you wouldn't be this dumb but I wasn't right
Want to just leave, I might, please don't be
Like the apocryphal story 'bout Nero, I
Want you to be alive

Please don't be Nero (oh-oh-oh)
Please don't be Nero, need to move (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Please don't be

Yeah, there's never been conclusive proof that Nero layed about playing his lyre (not even a fiddle, they didn't exist yet) while Rome got all toasty. It's mostly a case of "well, he benefited from it by having new buildings built where the fire was and also he's kind of a douche, so that tracks". The more you know.

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Jonathan Spurlock - March 08, 2021 - Report this comment

A Roman historian, Tacitus, commented on Nero's fire and said Nero basically wanted to rebuild the city. He needed an excuse, set part of the city on fire, and blamed the Christians of Rome for doing so (paraphrasing freely). Tacitus also (wisely?) refrained from mentioning the instrument Nero played--if any. One Christain pastor remarked that the Apostle Paul looked like a nobody before Nero, but now we call our dogs Nero and our boys, Paul!

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