Yeah I’m up at Newtown
Now I’m down Monkhide
Right next to the village hall
And I’ll be bored forever
Yes it’s pretty humdrum
This place is really boring me
The sigh to my yawn
The wind to my tumbleweed
Catch me in the garden
I’ve got a seed I’m planting it
Nutrition, sun and soil
Hey presto it’s a turnip
Head out to the market
Dairy Shorthorns
Shovel in the back for the mess on the trailer floor
Out in my local, drinking up some cider
Modern music blaring out, who’s Tinchy Stryder
In the barnyard lambing, groups of twins and triplets
Something squeaking loudly...turns out it’s a lost piglet
Big up to the parish, and the local vicar
Big up to the telephone we don’t need no twitter
Keep your Big Apple...
We’ll have a nectarine
We don't need Alicia ‘cause The Wurzels run this scene

Round here we stick together
Like birds of a feather...
Except we're not from Chigwell...
We’re from the small village called...

Yarkhill
Lots of fields nothing much to see
Not far from Bartestree
When you’re in Yarkhill
Sheep, pigs, cockerel makes you feel real stressed
Calmed down by Stowford Press
Repeat the word Yarkhill, Yarkhill, Yarkhill

Catch me in the hall in my fleece
Getting real cold
Damn it’s so cold in here that I needed fleeces sevenfold
And now that I’ve made it here to the middle of nowhere
I won 50p when I came first at the local fair
Yeah, ya know the H to the F to the MA
Mum does business with them but mostly on a Saturday
So look it up on Google -- It’s a few pages in
We get the local newsletter but it goes in the bin
It’s mostly just articles about the village news
Sometimes there’s an item about lost pairs of shoes
Long walks, hill walks, canal walks, public walks
If you come and visit you better learn how the farmers talk
There’s a petrol station, see
But I don’t have a car...
And a load of nice views when you’re looking from afar
So head out of your city
And join the committee
Fiver for the joining fee
Over sixties’ choir singing out...

Yarkhill
Near to Fownhope, Woolhope and Bosbury
And also to Ledbury
Fame doesn’t come from Yarkhill
It ain’t strange, what was I expecting
I spent all day checking
Let’s say some more Yarkhill, Yarkhill, Yarkhill

Eight miles on the road to the city
Tramps on the way looked kinda shifty
And sometimes by the road there’s some gypsies
If you looked on a map
You would see...
Bromyard, Stoke Edith, Stoke Lacy, Much Marcle, Lower Eggleton, Bishops Frome...


...And Yarkhill...
Access from the A4103
Tractors are roaming free
On your way to Yarkhill
Everything near here is quite old
But they’re still great to behold
This is my home, Yarkhill, Yarkhill, Yarkhill.