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Song Parodies -> "Docspeak for the Doomed"
Original Song Title:
"Hope You're Better Soon"
Original Performer:
American Greetings
Parody Song Title:
"Docspeak for the Doomed"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
Unconventional... I derived this from a greeting card I got while hospitalized for cardiac complications last week ;-)
What the Doctor says and (what he means):
I’d like to run a few more tests
(I want the sunroof option on my sports car)
Make a follow-up appointment
(Add a CD player with 6-disc changer)
I’d like you to see a specialist
(I have no idea what’s wrong with you)
I have some good news and bad news
(Shit…how do I tell you that you‘re screwed?)
The nurse will take over from here
(I’m running late for a free high-priced lunch)
History of medical problems?
(Can I blame genetics when I screw-up?)
Hmm… this is very interesting
(Now what the hell is THAT damn thing?)
This is a highly treatable disease
(How much insurance are you carrying?)
I do hope you feel better soon
(How do I tell you that you’re doomed?)
I’d like to run a few more tests
(I want the sunroof option on my sports car)
Make a follow-up appointment
(Add a CD player with 6-disc changer)
I’d like you to see a specialist
(I have no idea what’s wrong with you)
I have some good news and bad news
(Shit…how do I tell you that you‘re screwed?)
The nurse will take over from here
(I’m running late for a free high-priced lunch)
History of medical problems?
(Can I blame genetics when I screw-up?)
Hmm… this is very interesting
(Now what the hell is THAT damn thing?)
This is a highly treatable disease
(How much insurance are you carrying?)
I do hope you feel better soon
(How do I tell you that you’re doomed?)
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User Comments
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You have to save a lifetime to pay for the last few weeks. I bet my insurance agent got a good tongue lashing when I keeled over just two months after I signed onto the policy.
The first time I got a medical bill in the mail for $70,000 I thought it was a typo!!! I have lost all my assets to the hospitals and ambulance companies :(
Rob - that was hilarious! I am sorry that you are going thru such a rough time, but nice that you can squeeze some humor out of it.
The flesh may be weak, but your spirit is indomitable.
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