Oh, hey Mike, hey Mike
Planned a trip and my house needs minding
Be there, be there
At sparrow-fart, that's when I'm leaving
Can't sleep over here
Cause I called you way too late

Yeah, I know, I know
You've no time to think whether you will help me
Don't say no, please no
Beggin' on my knees, on the phone, can't see
And you don't have to ask me what you can do, mate
I say...

Look after my place
Say yes, I will grant you free reign
But there is one thing: just don't touch my car
Can drink my wine
And if you drop the bottle, that's fine
Remember this one thing: please don't touch my car
Eh-eh

Deep shit, deep shit
That's what you'll be in if you touch my Jeep
Your ass, your ass
I'll kick, so I won't give you the keys
It's too valueble
So please wash it ev'ry day

Oh, you know, you know, you know
I'll be back in seven days
I'll let you watch my DVD's
And play all my games
So don't whine your ass off saying that I am so lame
I will just say

Free run of my place
I don't care if the windows break
But there is one thing: just don't touch my car
No need to drive
The fridge is stocked with pizza and pies
It isn't a hard thing: please don't touch my car

Don't touch my car
My bloody car
One thing I'm asking: just don't touch my car

Look after my place
Hold parties, get smashed off your face
But there is one thing: just don't touch my car
Get it defiled
You'll be in traction for a long while
So promise me one thing: please don't touch my car
Yeah