Floor splat acrobat, Slipped off the trapeze today
It bites, Was in flight, Now he's bent over in pain
This is circus strife
Don't shove him in that canon it would be a fright
Floor splat acrobat's getting mocked by a mime

Lion tamer better grab those beasts fast
Cause they slobber when they see this geek land
There's no cushion for his epic fails. You can see the dust fly
Dust fly, dust fly...

Should shovel up turds or work as a clown
Fry up elephant ears and chug that grease down
He's not a nimble one so he should give up that life
That life, that life, that life...

(Floor splat acrobat... Floor splat acrobat)

High strung tightrope's his plight wobbles on his tippy-toes
Trips though he's been trying and every time he gets the gong
He can't do handstands
He'll even get a sprain by cartwheeling I bet
Floor splat acrobat isn't yet in his prime, in his prime

From the bleachers he is getting booed man
He can't juggle since he has a bruised hand
All his stunt-work is an epic fail, Getting hit with cream pies
Cream pies, cream pies

Yeah, yeah
He got burnt leaping through flame hoops
Close your eyes cause blood squirts as he exclaims "Oops!"
Barnum and Bailey bum just slips because he can't glide
Can't glide, can't glide, can't glide...
Yeah, yeah

(Floor slapped acrobat)

Think it's a curse, shoe's untied, with every blunder breaks a leg
Has no gymnastic style when he's there on stage
That trampoline fills him with rage

And his partner's now wearing an arm cast
Cause he flipped her around way too damn fast
Should be fired, cause his epic fails, will soon be poking out eyes
Out eyes, out eyes...

Yeah, yeah
Onto rhino horns he's landing splits, Ow!
For a man that sure hurts, I'd call it quits now
The circus life is fun but sure not for this guy
This guy, this guy, this guy...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah