We get swill when time to eat
Once a year a treat like beets
I'm in a dungeon
We're in a dungeon
Medieval dungeon

We can only dream of sheets
In our ice cold cellar suites
Here in the dungeon
Stuck in the dungeon
We're in a dungeon
An effing dungeon

Told the Pope the Earth is moving 'round the sun
Guess the bastard weren't content to have me just banned
I'm damned

Mice floats our latrine now 'til they're liquefied
Half the clientele here contemplates a dive
Take five

It blows
I've got cavities and pain
And a literal ball and chain
And every year's the same
(Things remain the same)

It's so cold and there's no seat
I've got gangrene on my feet
I'm in a dungeon
(He's in a dungeon)
We're in a dungeon
(He's in a dungeon)
Medieval dungeon

Every year there's no-one coming through the door
Giving me a pardon, just the guards with encore
One more

And we've killer fleas with the bubonic plague
Boils with pus so festering your mum would forsake
The pound

It blows
And we get beat up and maimed
By those Inquisition thugs we're shamed
To them all's just a game

They blow
The only thing to change
I think I'm getting more deranged
Now I can't tell my age

That blows
And my gums gotten inflamed
But I still whistle here the same
It's my lame claim to fame