Help me fix my tub
Since my pipes
Are insaaaane...
Water's brown and hideous... dude...
When I turn it on
It stays dry
Makes me sweeeear...
Need that special treatment you... do...

Need to find a new potty but a potty's hard to find
Water sprays up my hiney but it's not the fancy kind

My sink's a gusher
Leaves me so flustered
Tubes must have ruptured
This fool needs a plumber
(Damn)

Oooooooh-Oooooooh

This. dang. show-er leaves me terrified
Needs. re-paired, Sick of the constant gripe
That plumbing skill has blew my mind
Each time I tried
The pool's such a bummer

Tell me you're the one
With the kit
And supplies
With your wrench you'll take on loose... screws
Fountain's full of sludge
Buckets
Packed full of slime
My house all the neighbors shun... It's true...

Your behind shows when squatting might seem sloppy but you're fine
You'll replace what looks scary, I won't need to run and hiiiide...

Bath-time has suffered
Thus I'm grit covered
Makes people shudder
This fool needs a plumber
(Damn)

Oooooooh-Oooooooh

Makes. me. frown. that my john's full of flies
Glad. you've. dared. to fix my rusty piiiiipes
They're buzzing since my toilet's dry
Twist my valves tight (my valves tight)
This fool needs a plumber
(Damn)
I'd drool for a plumber
It's cruel with no plumber

Pissed... At my dishwasher...

Sink drips slime since it's shoddy since it's shoddy it drips slime
And my basement looks hairy, Puddles fill me full of fright

(Best in town!) Best. in. town. is what he advertised
(He's im-paired) He's impaired around my leaky pipes
They're bursting and the spout's sky high (spout's sky high)
That dude seems high (dude seems high)
A fool for a plumber

(Such. a. clown.) It's ghoulish and a stunner
(Wet. night-mare) So don't believe the hype
Tubes busting and my kitchen's fried
Reeks like low tide
No school for this plumber
(Damn)

Ooooooooooh...

This fool is my plumber