Sorry, this may look well-made and nice
Normally I've love a hot, fresh pie
But could you redo it? I'll say why
Kinda asked for zero cream on mine

Why's it so hard when I'm eatin' out
When eatin' out like now
To have the parts I don't want removed?
Was not removed, I frown
Not gonna blame it on the waitress
Was double-checkin' when I placed it
And there's no sneer on her face, just surprise
Wide eyes

Miss, don't worry, I apologise
If my tone of voice goes past "polite"
I'm just really sick of this, alright?
I know I asked for zero cream on mine
I'm not gonna sit and wonder why
Anyone would dare to override
What the customer asked for, not right
Just want more pie with zero cream on mine
Cream on mine, cream on mine, cream on mine
No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh
No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh

Cream tastes like arse, I don't want it now
Might want my mouth burnt out
Seems a bit harsh but it is the truth
I hate this goop, gross now
You could say that it's ice cream melted
And that is what I once expected
But somethin' happened when I went and tried
No dice

So when I see this upon my pie
I get pretty pissed off, I can't lie
So I want a brand new, fresh baked slice
And I will repeat this: no cream on mine
And don't you dare scrape it off 'cause I
Don't like laziness from chefs, that's right
Taste will still be there, still tastes like shite
So get the hint, I want no cream on mine
Cream on mine, cream on mine, cream on mine
No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh
No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh

Don't care what part of their brain got screwed
Fool or douche
Just plopped it on out of pure instinct
Or they were like "Who cares what they think?
How dare they change what I serve on the pie?"
Not right

No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh
No cream on mine, oh-oh-oh-oh

Better not charge me for both pies now