It's december, again it's time
To from my list cross off a trove of tasties
Time to throw out all grease from my lair
Away, with all sorts of pastries

I'll miss the fryer
M'kay, it must retire

I'll miss the candy and the brandy
I'll miss the hot dogs and the eggnogs

Biting lemons, instead of swirls'
Akin to when I had to give up ewes
I'll run the bonbon aisles
That'll be adding up miles
Down to where greens are compiled

My coke supplier
On soy, he says I'll die there

I'd quit the orgies in my forties
Now I'll quit Danish, arse is heinous

I'll hail non-fatty vinaigrette
And I'll pound off sawdust baguettes
Amidst the weight loss

Heave 'em to me

I'll mend my fettle, grasp the nettle
I'll miss the Fritos and the Cheetos
I'll diss out droplet's worth of chocolates
I'll look like Gollum antebellum

I'll hail non-gluten soy croquettes
And on rose-hips hedging my bets
Dehisced

Lentils, chives and hum-mus, oh jeez!
I miss the beers, must take a knee!

I've still a rucksack with a six-pack!
I'll call my Sheila for Tequila!


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And I totally hope to see some of these outtake lines below in someone else's parody today! :-)
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I'll miss the cupcakes and the cheesecakes
I'll miss the milkshake and the poundcake
No more a-budd'ing over pudding
I'll cry for Funyons chopping onions
No more blown buttons for this glutton
I'll leave Gelati-lluminati
No more of huffin' over muffin'
I'll miss the red wine and the moonshine
No more meat nestin' in my 'testines
I will be whining over dining
I'll sit and grouse down at the alehouse
No more of pot cheese during munchies
I'm quitting wholly those Cannoli
No cherry gel-grub while on Pornhub
I'll be all misty over Whiskey
I'll be all love-lorn for the popcorn
No more I'll make-out with a pop-tart
I'll miss the Brittles and the Skittles
I'll miss the parties with the Smarties
I'll hit a new gym missing winegum
I'll be the mofo chewing tofu
I'll let the Reese's rest in pieces