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Song Parodies -> "On the Ark"
Original Song Title:
"In the Dark"
Original Performer:
Dev
Parody Song Title:
"On the Ark"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
Part of my Pop Danthology 2011 self-challenge. So what really went through Noah's head during those 40 days and nights?
Breathin' in salty air (salty air)
Wish I could relax, but there's a bear (there's a bear)
R-R-R-Really close to my arse (to my arse)
You should know, cramped here on the ark
Sorry, honey, 'fraid the Lord ('fraid the Lord)
Made his demands to take on board (take on board)
A crap-ton of wild beasts quite large (beasts quite large)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ark
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark
Far as I can see (see)
The ocean blue because God wiped the slate real clean (clean)
E-E-E-Except for two of ev'ry unclean species, species
And seven of each clean beast (clean beast, clean beast)
Th-This menagerie farce
Got a hyena up my arse
I got a mad lion up my arse
Hate, hate, hate, hate this ark
S-S-Space, space, space, space ain't sparse
I got a dog tryna sniff my arse (sniff my arse)
Only smell in the air (in the air)
Is what comes out of their derrieres (derrieres)
C-C-C-Can't tell lies, no good parts (no good parts)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark
We're floatin' out at sea (out at sea)
All hopin' that this boat I built withstands the weather, please (weather, please)
I know I got the instructions from God, but man, it's dangerous
To, t-to hold carnivorous (-nivorous)
C-Creatures here on the ark
Hopin' that they won't bite my arse
I know they're inside cages, smartarse
But, but, but, but they're smart
H-H-Haul, haul, haul, haulin' arse
So they can take bites out of my arse
Sometimes I look up there (look up there)
Think when God said "kind" should I have dared (I have dared)
T-T-T-To check what He meant? Cause (see, because)
It's so damn cramped here on the ark
There's a lot of vagueness, does (vagueness, does)
"Dog" count as one kind? Does it not (does it not)?
Should I have been more picky? Cause (picky? Cause)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Hope this ends soon (ooh la la), cause this sucks (ooh la la, ooh la la)
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark (ooh la la)
Where is that da-amn (ooh la la) branch-wieldin' dove (ooh la la, ooh la la)?
Cramped here on the ark
W-W-Wall-to-wall, so cramped
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Wish I could relax, but there's a bear (there's a bear)
R-R-R-Really close to my arse (to my arse)
You should know, cramped here on the ark
Sorry, honey, 'fraid the Lord ('fraid the Lord)
Made his demands to take on board (take on board)
A crap-ton of wild beasts quite large (beasts quite large)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ark
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark
Far as I can see (see)
The ocean blue because God wiped the slate real clean (clean)
E-E-E-Except for two of ev'ry unclean species, species
And seven of each clean beast (clean beast, clean beast)
Th-This menagerie farce
Got a hyena up my arse
I got a mad lion up my arse
Hate, hate, hate, hate this ark
S-S-Space, space, space, space ain't sparse
I got a dog tryna sniff my arse (sniff my arse)
Only smell in the air (in the air)
Is what comes out of their derrieres (derrieres)
C-C-C-Can't tell lies, no good parts (no good parts)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-ark-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark
We're floatin' out at sea (out at sea)
All hopin' that this boat I built withstands the weather, please (weather, please)
I know I got the instructions from God, but man, it's dangerous
To, t-to hold carnivorous (-nivorous)
C-Creatures here on the ark
Hopin' that they won't bite my arse
I know they're inside cages, smartarse
But, but, but, but they're smart
H-H-Haul, haul, haul, haulin' arse
So they can take bites out of my arse
Sometimes I look up there (look up there)
Think when God said "kind" should I have dared (I have dared)
T-T-T-To check what He meant? Cause (see, because)
It's so damn cramped here on the ark
There's a lot of vagueness, does (vagueness, does)
"Dog" count as one kind? Does it not (does it not)?
Should I have been more picky? Cause (picky? Cause)
Cramped, cramped, c-cramped, cramped here on the ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Hope this ends soon (ooh la la), cause this sucks (ooh la la, ooh la la)
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark (ooh la la)
Where is that da-amn (ooh la la) branch-wieldin' dove (ooh la la, ooh la la)?
Cramped here on the ark
W-W-Wall-to-wall, so cramped
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
Ooh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la
Cramped here on the ark, ark, ark
You could say that Noah only took young animals on the ark, but the whole thing is weird enough as is, you don't need to add the theft of baby animals to the list.
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I did an Ark parody a long time ago. 555! Some trivia about the Ark. It was 450' long, 75' wide, 45' tall and made of gopher wood (Nirampalli?) and covered in tar. It had 3 internal decks, 1 door, and 1 window with an air slot 18" running around the top of the barge-like vessel. It's guestimated weight by naval researchers is roughly 22,000 tons (Annapolis). Animal and bird pairs for preservation, 7 pairs for food and sacrifice plus additional non-animal foods stocked. Possible two large bronze water basins on lower level. From the time Noah, his wife, three sons and their wives entered until exit in the Ararat range, 379 days or 12.5 mos!!! Btw, the one world language ended with Noah's family. Japheth started tribal languages. Those that built the Tower of Babel (aka Great Ziggurat) spoke Akkadian.
he he
DKTOS but this was funny
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