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Song Parodies -> "Jobber Life's Hell"

Original Song Title:

"Hotter than Hell"

Original Performer:

Dua Lipa

Parody Song Title:

"Jobber Life's Hell"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sometimes in the world of beefcake soap operas, you gotta take a dive. The other guy's getting a push, so it's your turn to get the shit knocked outta ya. But when that's your whole job? That can make one a little testy...
Ah yeah-eah-eah
Ah yeah-eah-eah

I know I can wrestle, can suplex, I can pin
But it seems my boss doesn't want my ass to win
I guess I lack the appeal, so he feels that it's best
To have me beaten weekly, always laid out on the deck
Make the face look strong, yeah-eah
Or boost up the threat of the new heel, that's my role
Hard to say it's wrong, yeah-eah
I can understand the needs of this whole kayfabe plot

But to job is hell, still a tiny bit unfair
That it's just myself who's always eating dirt out there
My contract needs a hard revision
'Cause it's clear that it's true: jobber life's hell
Jobber life's hell

Can't say that I don't give it my all, great in the ring
Won't do my job half-hearted, I need the pay for things
But I still have to be real 'cause the boss is a twit
Since the same guy is employed to fail as their whole schtick, so
Wouldn't that wear off? Yeah-eah
With no wins under my belt, I feel that my role
Doesn't work as strong, yeah-eah
Would get harder to believe that I could beat them up

As I job like hell, there's a feeling in the air
That since it's myself who's stuck with eating floor out there
The plotline lacks the proper tension
One more reason it's true: jobber life's hell
Jobber life's hell

I could see a point there if this was long-haul fair
Planting the seeds down right there so there's a big fanfare
When I triumph with huge flair, maybe that whole plan could work there
But for it to be fair, can't just spring it

I can job like hell, can sell that though it ain't fair
But you have to tell me if you're switching it up there (hey, hey, hey, hey)
Two fighters can't both dive, that's nonsense
Still more proof that it's true (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh):, jobber life's hell
Jobber life's hell (hey), jobber life's hell (hey, hey, hey, hey)
Jobber life's hell, just more proof that it's true:, jobber life's hell

My original plan was "Joggers See Hell" about how it's usually early morning joggers who find the corpse. Another time, perhaps...

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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bobpiecheese - June 07, 2024 - Report this comment
Whoops, I meant "long game" not "long haul". Stupid brain not English good.

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