Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho-oh…

Belt ’round the waist
Got presents to deliver
Here’s a surprise
He loved eggnog, no secret
Think his drink’s been spiked
Jack Daniel’s breath
The “cookies” looked suspicious
Like the drugs of '66
No gifts this year
Unless the fat guy gets sober

He played our LPs
Then he passed out
Now, Santa Claus is nappin’
Record’s playing Zappa
Stranger choice than Abba
This is not Frank Capra
Santa Claus is nappin’
Why’d he pick Frank Zappa?
Santa Claus is…

Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho-oh, ho, ho-oh

Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho, ho, ho-oh
Ho, ho-oh…

The stores are closed, predicting nasty weather
Who spiked the nog and drugged the Jolly Elf?
“…Eat that yellow snow”
Hey, is he Santa Claus or is he Santa’s brother?
No burglar has chose cheeks
Thus, now you know the truth

That Santa Claus is nappin’
Thought I heard him rappin’
Which I don’t mean “wrappin’”
Someone turn off Zappa!
Rather hear some Abba
Anything but Zappa
Anything but…

Aaagh, aaagh, aaagh, aaaaaaggghhhhh!
Aaagh, aaagh, aaagh, aaaaaaggghhhhh!
Aaagh, aaagh, aaagh, aaaaaaggghhhhh!
(Maniacal laughter)

(More manical laughter!!)

Maybe, I think he’s waking up, oh please
I guess he ate that yellow snow? No!
Looks like he’s going back to sleep!
Happy Hanukkah to you

It’s 10 on Christmas Eve
No presents in the tree
He’s ho-ing in his sleep
I think I gotta pee

Frank Zappa skipped a beat
I’m sighing in relief
He’s ho-ing in his sleep
He’s hoi-ing in his sleep

(Santa ho’s in his sleep)
(Screams of agony)
(Manical laughter)