Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Loud-Ass Blender"

Original Song Title:

"Now or Never"

Original Performer:

Halsey

Parody Song Title:

"Loud-Ass Blender"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Lots of distinctive sounds that can come from the kitchen...the hum of the kettle...the rush of the tap...the NYEARAGRHAGRHAGRHAGRHAGRHA of the goddamn blender...
Tryna take a nap right now, wish you'd stop that right now
Know that you've got mouths to feed, I'm one of 'em, turn it down for me
Could you make lunch without much of that sound? Dude, please
It's a pain in the butt or rather in the ear, can't drown it, geez, yeah
Don't care what you're makin' for me or how it's gonna take some time
All the times you say you're sorry won't make up for my tortured mind
Not a fan of the way it bores me, I don't mean the sleepy kind
More like a drill, the way it bores me, so stop it right now, right now

You're usin' a real loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, hey, hey (hey)
I want you to shut it down, down, down, down, down, down (hey)
Down forever, hey, hey (hey)
All those blades in there keep whiskin' around
'Round, I'm deafer, hey, hey (hey)
Because of that stupid loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, whoa-oh

Sure you can't use a knife right now? A little slice 'n' dice now
Bring a hammer down for me, can deal with that thumpin' sound, you see
But I can't recall any noise worse than that right now, I need
You to stop it and call on all your skills to swap it out for me, yeah
No, I can't just close the doors, see, it's piercin' through, that nasty whine
And I can't just plug my ears, please, won't hear my wake-up call, not right
Has to be a method less noisy, I think a rollin' pin's fine
Come up with a method less noisy 'cause I'm Z-lite now, light now

You're usin' a real loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, hey, hey (hey)
I want you to kill it now, now, now, now, now, now (hey)
Now, not never, hey, hey (hey)
So sick of that metal whippin' around
'Round, I'm deafer, hey, hey (hey)
Because of that stupid loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, whoa-oh

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, uh, yeah
Shut it right up, don't take more nap time up (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh), yeah
My mind might just pop and melt right into slime, bud (yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Sure, it might suck, an old model, right sucks (yeah)
Buddy, you gotta decide somethin' 'cause this blows

You're usin' a real loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, hey, hey (hey)
Fix it so the noise cuts out, out, out, out, out, out (hey)
Out forever, hey (out forever), hey (hey)
Like a whisper as it's whiskin' around
'Round like feathers, hey, hey (hey)
And no longer a real loud, loud, loud, loud, loud, loud (hey)
Loud-ass blender, whoa-oh

Only way it could be worse is if they're blending beetroot. Not that I dislike beetroot, it just makes the blender look like someone put their hand in there.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.0
How Funny: 1.0
Overall Rating: 1.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   0
 0
 0
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

deaffy - June 15, 2022 - Report this comment
think it's loud now try it with one of these new pick up every sound and make it louder Co Implants

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/halsey8.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 467