Sir, don't act so jumpy, calm down just a tad
I need to know just what's gone super wrong on your end
Is somethin' on fire in your flat?
Neck spun 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round like mad?
You're dancin' 'round the info a bit (need to know), get to it quick (need to know)
What is the situation? Where's the damage (need to know)?
Noise in the attic (need to know) that's made you panic (need to know)?
Laptop's been hacked? Wait, your TV has static (not a joke)?

That's no emergency (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh)
Inconvenience, that's all, you see (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh)
Gonna hang up on you quick (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh)
'Cause you cannot tie up the line like this (ahaha)

Whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (need to know)
Whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (need to know)
Okay? Whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (need to know)
Okay? Whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (aaaaaah, whoo!)

Get these morons a-callin' me
More often than one would think, kinda bleak
Sometimes they're just confused and sometimes they're mean
But it still goes on and on and on and on, on and on and on and on
They're callin' 'cause of "piss-poor service" (that's a "No"), bet they're a prick (always so) (ooh-ooh)
For some real quick cash (ee-yeah-eah-eah), no need to be askin' ('cause I know)
Tone isn't managed (what a joke), still soundin' manic (such a joke)
Gettin' so mad when I take them to task quick (tell 'em "No")

That's no emergency (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh)
Just entitlement from you I see (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh)
If there's no real accident (whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh) (hahahahaha)
And the traffic just sucks, I can't do shit (ahaha)

What a joke
Such a joke
Go 'way, whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (total joke)
Go 'way, whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (aaaaaah, lalalalala)

That's no emergency (lalalalala)
Though I might still send a few police (lalalalala)
There's a crime, turns out, no trick (lalalalalala) (hahaha)
Makin' bogus-ass calls to us, that is (aaaaaah, whoo!)

What a joke
Such a joke
Go 'way, whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (total joke)
Go 'way, whoo-hoo-hoo-ooh (you're a joke)

Think, you dope