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Song Parodies -> "One Cushioned Pad"

Original Song Title:

"One Woman Man"

Original Performer:

John Legend

Parody Song Title:

"One Cushioned Pad"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Stuntmen deserve respect. They deserve a "Best Stunt" category at the Oscars. But most importantly, they need to be able to work without risking severe damage to themself.
Oh-ho-oh-oh-ho-oh, oh-ho-oh-oh-oh

Been part of movies since I can remember
Not a name that's been found on posters, right
But look, if you zoom when shit hits the blender
My pain is what you'll find
Stuntmen's work is rarely known and with CG, it's hard to show
But we're still the bedrock, not a joke
That's why it's pretty hard to take in, the mad request that you've been makin'
That I fall on no protection, please

Want one cushioned pad, just one cushioned pad, oh
'Cause it's good for my health (ooh-ooh) to look after myself (ooh-ooh)
It's a problem (ooh-ooh), hurts my bottom, so give me
Just one cushioned pad (one cushion), want one cushioned pad, oh (one cushion)

Don't know why you need my ass undefended
"It's more realistic"? That can't be why
'Cause you can sell monsters and shapeshiftin' wizards
But "landin' safe" is lies?
I kinda need my ass to make it 'cause even if they really hate me
If I crash land way too hard, lawsuits will break you to shards
Does a lesser chance of boo-boos really wreck the whole movie for you?
That sounds strange, pretty crazed, have to give me

Just one cushioned pad, want one cushioned pad, oh
It makes you get mad as hell (ooh-ooh) when I think 'bout my health (ooh-ooh)
Just so awful (ooh-ooh) that I wanna keep my knees
Just one cushioned pad (one cushion), want one cushioned pad, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (one woman)

When I signed on to work for you (ooh-ooh-ooh), checked that contract hard
It said jack-all about slammin' down real hard
Even practical-made scenes for all of you who hate CG
Have somethin' besides pure concrete

Want one cushioned pad, ho-oh-oh-ho-oh-ah
I've put my body through hell (ooh-ooh), bones been broken, eyes swelled (ooh-ooh)
I can suffer (ooh-ooh), need a buffer still, you see
Just one cushioned pad (one cushion), want one cushioned pad, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (one cushion)

Ooh, ooh (ooh-ooh), ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (ooh-ooh)
Ooh (ooh-ooh), ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (ooh-ooh)

Me: oh, hey, a John Legend song I'm not familiar with, this should be alright! *Reads lyrics* Awww, this sounds so swee- *discovers it's from the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack* GOOD FEELINGS GONE.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   15
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