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Song Parodies -> "The One That Got Away (Thanks to Rachel Berry)"
Original Song Title:
"The One That Got Away"
Original Performer:
Katy Perry
Parody Song Title:
"The One That Got Away (Thanks to Rachel Berry)"
Parody Written by:
Rebekah Dub
The Lyrics
I know this storyline occurred back in Season 2, but I'm sure it frustrates other Glee fans as much as it frustrates me, even into Season 3. Please pardon any spoilers this song may expose.
First day at William McKinley High School
Mr. Schue learned that Matt moved to another school
So he was due to recruit New Directions singers
There was Sam Evans, a dyslexic comic book fan
And Sunshine Corazon from the Philippines
With whom Rachel Berry sang “Tel-el-ephone”
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Mr. Schue heard about that incident
And called Rachel out for being a selfish bitch
Apparently he was preaching to his own choir, whoa
Puck had contemplated throttling her
And Santana just blew a fuse
But to look on the bright side they scored Lauren Zizes
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Crack house, crack house, crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Now Sunshine is in Vocal Adrenaline, oh
Top show choir in America, yeah
Rachel really should have put her pride aside, oh
Because they came in twelfth**
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Crack house, crack house, crack house
In another life, Sunshine would be in
New Directions and they would have placed first at Nationals
Placed first at Nationals
Mr. Schue learned that Matt moved to another school
So he was due to recruit New Directions singers
There was Sam Evans, a dyslexic comic book fan
And Sunshine Corazon from the Philippines
With whom Rachel Berry sang “Tel-el-ephone”
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Mr. Schue heard about that incident
And called Rachel out for being a selfish bitch
Apparently he was preaching to his own choir, whoa
Puck had contemplated throttling her
And Santana just blew a fuse
But to look on the bright side they scored Lauren Zizes
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Crack house, crack house, crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Now Sunshine is in Vocal Adrenaline, oh
Top show choir in America, yeah
Rachel really should have put her pride aside, oh
Because they came in twelfth**
In the ladies’ room out of all places
She was shown to have some pipes, but that threatened Rachel
So much so that when she learned that Sunshine
Wanted to audition, too, she sent her to a crack house
Sent her to a crack house
Crack house, crack house, crack house
In another life, Sunshine would be in
New Directions and they would have placed first at Nationals
Placed first at Nationals
** - Rachel and Finn's onstage kiss contributed to the New Directions' humble twelfth-place finish as well, but the song revolves around how stupid Rachel was to send Sunshine to a crack house because Sunshine could have helped the New Directions win Nationals.
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