If there's one thing I always hate
Has to be boardin' the plane
But it's not luggage for findin' my seat that brings the pain to me
Or the neverendin' wait
For the takeoff from the damn ground
But there's still some waitin' now
'Cause ev'ryone in front of me must like bein' a total dick
Findin' more time to waste

When they scan for the metal
These people are assholes
When they scan for the metal
Did they not know this deal in whole? Always scan
Plane dudes scan
Plain they scan

The door thing detects
Ev'rything that's metallic
A basic concept
So why would you step through with a giant load of piercings in?
Forgot you had them on?
Doubt that's what happened at all
I think I'd recall
Metal in my ears and nose and tongue and my ding-dong

Plane dudes scan for the metal
That you have deeply nestled
Plane dudes scan for the metal
You can't not know 'bout it, asshole, always scan
Plane dudes scan
Moron

I'm stuck, stuck and it hurts
'Cause this line is a crowd of clowns
Are they real jerks?
Have they not flown 'round much now?
Both ways, not clever
'Cause their own time has been drained out
Ho-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh

Real long scan
Oh-oh no, oh-oh no, you're a real douche (real long scan)
Oh-oh no, oh-oh no, a complete douche (real long scan)
Ho-oh-oh-oh no, oh-oh no, a supreme douche (real long scan)
Oh-oh no, oh-oh no, oh-oh-ooh (moron)