Have to take his word as litigation
Enforce what he just said, you see
Though it may seem bizarre, the punishment is harsh
So I wear peels on just one thigh, I weep

The emperor has said that it's so (ha, ha, ha)
That ev'ry bev'rage must mix with Coke (ha, ha, ha)
Enjoy your nasty sludge or get thrown in the, mmm
Big pit that's filled with snakes (ha, ha, ha)
I'm aware that sounds insane (ha, ha, ha)
A little, but I can't do much

Gotta dress up as clowns and throw your shoes around
His Highness makes calls that feel like nonsense decrees
Can't just say that, trust me

Oh, leave your ice cream outside
Oh, not allowed to ask why, they're not nonsense decrees
They're not nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees
I don't know why he says all this stuff
But I can't go with my gut, say they're nonsense decrees
They're not nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees

Leave the house through your doggy door (ha, ha, ha)
Underwear? No fewer than four (ha, ha, ha)
Pairs must be worn and on the outside

I hate to go around (go around) and enforce these rules now (these rules now)
'Cause I know each call sounds like a nonsense decree
But I can't say that free

Oh, can only shrug and sigh
Oh, when you ask if "bee pies" is more nonsense decrees
They're not nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees
Can't say so outright, so suck it up
Paint roses on your bare nuts and more nonsense decrees
Wait, not nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees

I tried to keep it tight, mmm-mmm-mmm (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Oh, but now my punishment is nigh (ah-ah-ah-ah)
Now I must wash my hair with paste, the new shapes must remain
Until the tub's dry

Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense (hoo!)
Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense (ah-ah)
Nonsense, nonsense (yeah-eah, yeah), nonsense decrees
That is what they might seem

Oh, it could be worse, that's right
Oh, there's no gulag in sight, just faux-nonsense decrees
They're not nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees (ooh)
If they go, I won't miss 'em much (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Unless the new ones are tough (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) and are awful decrees
I'd miss nonsense, nonsense, nonsense decrees (ha-ah, ha)