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Song Parodies -> "Boil to Lance"
Original Song Title:
"Bad Romance"
Original Performer:
Lady Gaga
Parody Song Title:
"Boil to Lance"
Parody Written by:
Warren Baker
The Lyrics
After all the political chatter this week, I figured it was time for something completely different.
Ooh ooh ow ow ow
Oh my rump ma ma
Ee ee why why why
I’ve got a boil to lance
Iiee Iiee no no no
Hey yo, go slow slow
Stick, nick, don’t care how
I’ve got a boil to lance
I’ve got a bumpy
I want pain to ease
I want that sharpy thing and make sure it’s clean
Please wear your gloves
Glove-glove-glove
Please wear your gloves
I want it pronto
A blade in your hand
I want this fluid baggy brought to its knees
May need a jug
Jug-jug-jug
May need a jug
(I sit and it’s painful
It’s a fate that is cruel
I have a boil
Boil to lance)
No, I’m not kidding
Maybe grab a syringe
So I guess I’ll have to drop my pants.
It hurts while sitting
And I’m wearing Depends
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Ow-ow-oo-oo-ouch
Must I stand or crouch?
Or lay on a couch
Take this boil and lance
Ooh ooh no no no no
Your hands oh so cold
Whoa whoa that’s too low
See the boil, now lance
To hell with honor
To hell with refined
This pain is visceral this hind ain’t benign
Don’t be so rough
Rough-rough-rough
Don’t be so rough
Don’t want no lipo
No fat sucking stick
Just want this pain to go so hurry be quick
Or give me drugs
Drugs-drugs-drugs
Or give me drugs
(Can’t wait till the pain’s gone
No chair can I sit on
I’ve got a boil
A boil to lance)
Don’t take no pictures
That you’ll share with your friends
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
Ooooh
I don’t need butt implants
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
No no cha cha cha
My rump ya ya ya
Move groove, na na na
Got no time to dance.
Boo boo bye bye bye
Pain pain die die die
Make me cry cry cry
Got a boil to lance
Gawk gawk it’s amazing
Lance it
Ooh it itch like crazy
Pop pop pain is blazing
Lance it
No no no delaying
Talk talk no more teasing
Lance it
Skin that’s flat is pleasing
I want some drugs
Or my nerves will unhinge
Don’t want no hugs
Can’t you see my skin cringe
Oooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Oooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Don’t sit and study
The contour of my end
What was that, was that a furtive glance?
I’m not your buddy
I’m a patient, not friend
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
Oh my rump ma ma
Ee ee why why why
I’ve got a boil to lance
Iiee Iiee no no no
Hey yo, go slow slow
Stick, nick, don’t care how
I’ve got a boil to lance
I’ve got a bumpy
I want pain to ease
I want that sharpy thing and make sure it’s clean
Please wear your gloves
Glove-glove-glove
Please wear your gloves
I want it pronto
A blade in your hand
I want this fluid baggy brought to its knees
May need a jug
Jug-jug-jug
May need a jug
(I sit and it’s painful
It’s a fate that is cruel
I have a boil
Boil to lance)
No, I’m not kidding
Maybe grab a syringe
So I guess I’ll have to drop my pants.
It hurts while sitting
And I’m wearing Depends
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Ow-ow-oo-oo-ouch
Must I stand or crouch?
Or lay on a couch
Take this boil and lance
Ooh ooh no no no no
Your hands oh so cold
Whoa whoa that’s too low
See the boil, now lance
To hell with honor
To hell with refined
This pain is visceral this hind ain’t benign
Don’t be so rough
Rough-rough-rough
Don’t be so rough
Don’t want no lipo
No fat sucking stick
Just want this pain to go so hurry be quick
Or give me drugs
Drugs-drugs-drugs
Or give me drugs
(Can’t wait till the pain’s gone
No chair can I sit on
I’ve got a boil
A boil to lance)
Don’t take no pictures
That you’ll share with your friends
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
Ooooh
I don’t need butt implants
Ooooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
No no cha cha cha
My rump ya ya ya
Move groove, na na na
Got no time to dance.
Boo boo bye bye bye
Pain pain die die die
Make me cry cry cry
Got a boil to lance
Gawk gawk it’s amazing
Lance it
Ooh it itch like crazy
Pop pop pain is blazing
Lance it
No no no delaying
Talk talk no more teasing
Lance it
Skin that’s flat is pleasing
I want some drugs
Or my nerves will unhinge
Don’t want no hugs
Can’t you see my skin cringe
Oooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Oooh
I’ve got a boil to lance
Don’t sit and study
The contour of my end
What was that, was that a furtive glance?
I’m not your buddy
I’m a patient, not friend
Can’t you see I’ve got a boil to lance?
If you didn't like the above, there's more not to love at The Blogging Baker.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Funny as hell! I like how you changed the chorus every time for bigger laughs.
In the words of Monty Python, "I've had worse!!" LOL(see..)
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/melbrookssoundtrack0.shtml
Agrimorfee- Glad you liked it. Dag, this is a tough little booger to parody.
Mark- "That's nothing, our father would make us lick the road with our tongues..." LOL!
Mark- "That's nothing, our father would make us lick the road with our tongues..." LOL!
Grossly funny
A definite 555 boils to lance! Great take on a particularly tough OS!! A lot better than mine! :)
Phil- And environmentally friendly humor. Thanks, Phil.
Christie- I've only recently discovered the song and it's hooks...after hearing it 15 million times at the mall! Thanks so much for your vote and compliment. BTW, your Misery synopsis brought back that whole sledgehammer memory, it still makes me wince just thinking about it!
Christie- I've only recently discovered the song and it's hooks...after hearing it 15 million times at the mall! Thanks so much for your vote and compliment. BTW, your Misery synopsis brought back that whole sledgehammer memory, it still makes me wince just thinking about it!
I thought you might be wishing ill towards Lance Armstrong...man, that would suck on those long bike rides! Funny song.
Thanks for the note, Jeff. I would never wish a boil on Lance, though Sheryl Crow might (insert rim shot). Although shrimp and crab boils are nice...
Not too bad, I love Lady GaGa and this song and you did a Hell'va job!
Gotta say, really liked this... even if it gave me disturbing images... And yeah, I was gonna make a tour de france joke too, but Jeff beat me to it.
Thanks, Matthias. I really appreciate it. And Charnstar, I hope those disturbing images have since faded!
(SOTM) This one "poopped" up again for another LOL second read!
Overall I'd say it worked, even if I found it randomly confusing. . .I happen to like randomly confusing. I really had no idea what to expect from the random title. . .not bad. welcome to SOTM
(SOTM) Very quirky parody - how fitting for Lady Gaga. Kinda painful too, but not in a bad way, if that makes sense. 555!
SOTM April 2010 - My comment has been placed on the forum voting thread:
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=40536.0
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=40536.0
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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