Want a prize of worth
That sounds selfish, motto for some jerk
But I swear there's more
Than what boomers think young kids aim for

Friends all get
The "largest house" type, the "biggest stamp collection"
Sounds great
Large field for who might win those, I bet

And so I'm annoyed
I get "best tattoo of a Metroid"?
Feel I could win more
Than "largest shaped pile of apple cores"

What's bullshit
Is the well-worn line is I'm where the fault sits
I say
That all of you guys are simply dicks

I know I've done things far less specific
Than what I have been crowned
Awards are bogus, makes me feel hopeless
Because they're too narrow now
They're too na-ha, na-ha-rrow
Far too na-na-ra-ra-ra-rrow
Way too na-ha, na-ha-ah-rrow
Awards are too narrow now

Ho, ha-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah, ha-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh-ah
Ha-ah-ah-ah-ah

Why must you do this? Some prank, it's bullshit
My self-worth has been drowned
"Best false-scare lupus"? Feel like a doofus
That's all kinds of narrow now
They're too na-ha, na-ha-rrow
Far too na-ha-na-ra-ra-ra-rrow
Way too na-ha, na-ha-ah-rrow
Awards are too narrow now