Never a good thing when you call me, let alone this late at night
Normally a text gets typed, six emojis? You're fine
But if you wanna talk, then talk, please, I have to know the reason why
You've suddenly asked directly on the line
"Fetch me, no delay, send me the doctor's way"
What, no ambulance? No, wait, I think I know

What's stuck where? That's the one thought that comes to my brain
What's stuck where? Why else would you hate to show your face
To the fair ambulance drivers? That's clear to see
What's stuck where? Tell me

Have to tell me what's stuck where, otherwise this call will stop
Think I might have the right to know what's goin' on
Because if you've caught your member in the toaster, I'm not down
To have you sit inside my car, stuff might spill out
But if you've just made a less stupid mistake
Hand stuck in that croc teeth game? Ditch you, I won't

What's stuck where? Did you get a mousetrap on your face?
What's stuck where? Foot in the garbage bin? That's a pain
Have to share or else your Uber driver will see
What's stuck where? Tell me

Understand that you don't want folks to know at all
That you've got a bottle clamped around both of your balls
But you haven't thought this through all that hard, idiot
Doctors will all have to know what just happened

So what's stuck where? I promise I won't mock your mistake
What's stuck where? Could even help you to extricate
You from there so only your dumbass self will see
What's stuck where? Tell me