-Hey "girl", shoo now!
-You know you've got everybody choking!

Got a girdle blue in her setup
Got a set of balls for just turning up
Got some ancient boots like some western stud
Got a dance routine that's a real dud

Clings on to the pole like a main attraction
Audience calls for an extraction
Out through the back gate, playing it straight
And don't forget the thong!

Take it to the old bucks sitting in a nursing home
To some coots not minding those melanom'
Where the back row's humming on dance hall songs
-Get off! Get off! Get off!

Flipping her the bird, throw a glass of beer
Calling for the owner, kicking him hard in the rear
Fudge this ticket and this poleshow, it's been crippled
Cover up her moon
-Get offa stage "girl"!

Stripper "girl", looks eightythree, Gee!
Or ninetythree, Gee! (Old retiree)
Stripping, but quite absentee, Gee!
Shaking her knees, Gee! (Parkinsonee)

Somebody's sweet granny's going wild
She's going of the meds she's been long prescribed
Saggy tail and a rowdy smile
Randy dream for gerontophiles

But with the hernia there and her jiggly arms
Someone hammered the fire'larm
Panic's bringing out firearms
-Darn! Darn! Darn!

Tell it to the hard cops when you're in the police car
That they shot some granny in a stripper bar
When the back row accident'ly stringed along
-Get out! Get out! Get out!

Running with the herd, zipping up the gear
Following the others, trample them down outta fear
Fudge the owner and this poleshow, we're not tipping
Cover up the crone
-Put it back on "girl"!

Stripper "girl", killed that night, Gee! See!
Hardly could see, see! (So couldn't flee)
Shot hit flesh, then syncope, Gee!
Heart stop to beat, Gee! (Asystole!)

Stand clear!

Now she's pushing dandelions
From her grave on the hill in the Shady Pines, yeah
God, and the elders knows
That this chick was killing it without her clothes

All she had to do was just showing up
And then to strut her stuff
And then to take it off
And then get blasted off
Old life is really tough
Lady sure put on a show!

Repeat chorus