Song Parodies -> "Japanese Planes"

Original Song Title:

"White Trash Names"

Original Performer:

Mark Wahlberg as John (Ted Movie)

Parody Song Title:

"Japanese Planes"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I took the speed-round gag from "Ted" and substituted Japanese aircraft US codename designations. I substituted my best friend Scott McCurdy (5th grade-HS) for John and myself for Ted. True story: in HS in Chemistry Class our table all loved WW2 aviation and there were 6 of us. Scott and 3 others favored US aircraft while Frank and I favored Axis aircraft. So we argued everyday until one day our teacher had enough and devoted the entire period to arguments for and against Allied and Axis aircraft!!! We won b/c we brought up the German jets and revolver cannon tech along with AAM development! Also, it probably helped that the Me Bf 109 was the greatest aircraft killer of all-time with over 15,000+ aircraft downed and hundreds of aces made :)

Rob: Japanese planes, guess.
Scott: Maisie?
Rob: No.
Scott: Mary?
Rob: No.
Scott: Betty?
Rob: No.
Scott: Tillie?
Rob: No.
Scott: Cypress?
Rob: No.
Scott: Don’t fu*k with me on this, I know this sh*t.
Rob: Do you see me fu*king with you? I’m completely serious.
Scott: OK, speed round, I’m gonna rattle off some names and when I hit it, f***ing buzz it.
Rob: You do it, I will tell you.
Scott: You got me?
Rob: Yeah.
Scott: Alright- Baka, Helen, Cherry, Bess, Ann, Sonia, Mable, Dinah, Sally, Val, Clara, Doris, Frances, Ruth, Thelma, Tess, Thalia, Lorna, Sandy, and Stella? Grace, Millie, Julia, Jean, Mavis, Nell, Susie, Thora, Rita, Gwen, Ione, Lily, Laura, Jane, Edna, Claudia, Janice, Patsy, Dot, Kate, Willow, Helen, Doris, Emily, fu*king Babs?
Rob: Nope.
Scott: Wait, was it one of those planes that were German imports?
Rob: YES!
Scott: OK, Fred, Mike…
Rob: Trixie!!!

Note: ALL of the US codenames listed are legit down to the German aircraft sent to Japan for research. Fred was the Fw-190, Mike was the Me Bf 109 and Trixie was the Ju-52! FYI

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Patrick - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

How many grade school kids know anything about WWII airplanes, or even WWII anymore? Reminds me of the days when my brothers, cousins, and classmates read books on WWI and WWII airplanes, watched war movies and build Airfix model kits.

Old Man Ribber - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

Rob - Wow!! In a word, overwhelming. Today, we'd probably have Caitlin, Madison, Chelsea, Brooklyn, Aubree, and Makayla. ;D

AFW - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

Code number: Five

Rob Arndt - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

Thnx guys! Error in Line 1 shoudl read Japanese plane- singular. Otherwise, I tried for near-perfect with the names by letter; unfortunately some letters ran out of codenames, so I made substitutions. In the movie the 45 names are not rhyming but rattled off in succession. I memorized them so along with the 50 states alphabetically I now know 45 white trash names :)

Rob Arndt - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

Postwar, Soviet and now Russian fighters are known by F codenames and bombers by B codenames and so forth with other types. Examples: Foxhound (MiG-31), Fulcrum (MiG-29 family), Flanker (Su-27 family), Fullback (Su-32/34), Frogfoot (Su-25/35), and Firkin (Su-47). Bear (Tu-95) and Blackjack (Tu-160).

Lifeliver - January 08, 2013 - Report this comment

Rob, the inside of your brain must look like the Library of Congress. OMR funny comment. I wonder if the Japanese had female codenames for allied warplanes - Akiko, Makiko, Takiko, Sakiko, Wakiko; Yoko, Shoko, Koko, Toko, Ryoko - I could go on but I'll spare you.

Rob Arndt - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment

The reason that the US decided to codename the Japanese aircraft and not the German or Italian aircraft was that the Japanese manufacturers and designations were far too long for 20 yr olds to remember. Capt. Frank T. McCoy Jr. and TS Francis M. "Fran" Williams along with clerk Corp. Joseph Grattan named the aircraft after family, friends, and girlfriends for the most part. Probably the best-known is "Betty" (Mit G4M bomber) that was named after a beautiful nurse in Bridgeville, Pa who had a nice set of breasts (the G4M had two shapely rear side blisters that originated the name)! Other names were goofs, but were not corrected like "Tony" for the Kawasaki Ki-61 b/c the US thought it was an Italian Macchi C.202 import due to the non-radial in-line engine. It was not. Even when a version appeared with a radial (Ki-100) the name "Tony" stuck.

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