Not a helicopter or a rocket ship
No, it's a pure disaster, oh-ooh-whoa, oh-ooh-whoa, oh-ooh-whoa
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap (oh-ooh-whoa, oh-ooh-whoa-ooh-ooh)
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap (yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap

Think ev'ryone has a wish to never crash
If you want that, don't wanna meet you, dude
Rather make it to where I'm off to
So I think that it's crazy that you think I'm cool
With this absolute wreck, you know I'm sober
Not fond of drink nor a big toker
Good lord, this can't take off
Might have to be the asshole and take a brick block and make sure that you stop, yeah-eah

How can you not see the problems
With this Pinto of the sky?
Don't have faith in you or I
To make it off the damn runway alive
Looks like it could burst into fire, mate
If you look at it just right
Gonna have to find a good boat to take
'Cause that craft is a poor plane
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh) (yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
It's a bit crap, just a little bit crap

Got a wonky rudder, it won't be flyin' straight
The engines pump (uh) so much smoke, could spy the plane though high up
Wings so tattered like my college notebook (uh)
And it looks like they're bein' held on just by rope (uh), that's real bad
Sure not a winner (uh), more a dog's dinner (uh)
Is the fuselage mostly duct tape? Screw that
I would rather take a bus in
Know the trip is long and over a big ocean, I won't switch

Who's the madman in the cockpit (yeah, yeah, yeah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)?
Who'd dare put this in the sky (yeah, yeah, yeah)?
What mad - wait, it's you? Oh my (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
I bet your license was a free box prize
Smells like pre-, present and post-fire, mate (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm too fond of havin' life (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
Are there any cross-Atlantic-type planes (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)?
'Cause that craft is a poor plane, yeah, yeah-eah (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)

Uh, I'm not goin', mate
I'd rather use a catapult, launch me to space, ye-yeah
Uh, I'm not goin', mate
I'd rather jam a rocket up my back end, mate, ye-yeah (back slot)
Have no plans to die, death-trap in the sky? Spare me, uh (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
It's such a poor plane, it's such a poor plane (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
Oh, it's such a poor plane (it's such a poor plane)

Can't believe that there's no other (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
Planes inside this airport, why (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)?
Bet you made them crash so I'd (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
Be forced to take your little death-trap ride (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
I don't wanna risk all the fires, mate (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
One hiccup and we'll all die (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
Mean that lit'rally, looks that damn unsafe (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap) (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
'Cause that craft is a poor plane (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)

Want a helicopter (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
Or a rocket ship (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
Not this complete disaster (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)
Oh-ooh-whoa, oh-ooh-whoa, oh-ooh-whoa (it's a bit crap, just a little bit crap)