-> "Joe Friday vs. Andy Sipowicz"
Original Song Title:
"Epic Rap Battles of History"
Parody Song Title:
"Joe Friday vs. Andy Sipowicz"
The Lyrics
Dum da dum dum…
(The "Dragnet" theme)
Epic Rap Battles of History!
Joe Friday!
vs….
Andy Sipowicz!
Begin!
(Friday)
This is the city:
Los Angeles, California.
Soon my fist
is gonna adorn ya.
I was the favorite
TV cop of your father
even though my hometown
stole his Dodgers.
I carry a badge.
You carry a grudge.
Your language sounds like
Lower East Side sludge.
I’ll take you downtown
and stuff you in a trash can.
There’s no way you can beat me.
That’s just the facts, man.
(Sipowicz)
Listen, scumbag.
I’m gonna bring the pain.
I may be bald, but that fedora
hides a hole in your brain!
Early Nineties Manhattan:
I fought crime in it.
You wouldn’t have lasted
15 minutes!
You’re a lonely bachelor.
You can’t give it away.
I look like this and still married
a smokin’ hot D.A.!
I’m a recovering alcoholic
but your lungs are full of ash.
So bow down to the Big Apple
and fear the ‘stache!
(Friday)
I’m on Pacific Time
But I’ve got late news:
You should’ve stayed on Hill Street
‘cause I’ll give you Pete Kelly’s Blues!
What happened to your partners?
Kelly destroyed evidence.
Simone lost heart.
Sorensen had trash residence.
You lost your older son
and you lost your wife.
I may be a bachelor
but I’ve had the better life.
I’m a detective sergeant
of a far higher class.
I never had to figuratively
or literally show my ass.
(Sipowicz)
You just stooped to my level.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
On a scale of 1 to 100
you’re an Adam-12!
Webb had his own production company
but I know the score:
He never won an Emmy.
My portrayer won four!
When it comes to success
you’re a missing person.
I preferred the film comedy:
The Dan Aykroyd version!
I’m charging you with criminal wackness
and filing the case in.
You’re gonna need a lawyer.
Better call Perry Mason!
Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide!
Epic…
(The "NYPD Blue" theme plays)
Rap Battles of History!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 1.5 | |
How Funny: | 1.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 1.5 | |
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Total Votes: | 30 |
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Voting Breakdown
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