"What Makes Me Suitable"

You’re very shy.
I don’t know why.
I noticed you with my one lazy eye-i-i

Don’t throw a fit
Over my zit.
It’s growing more than I care to admit-it-it.

Everyone else in the room is dancing.
Everyone else but us.


Maybe I bite all my nails, the ones on my feet.
The way I chew like a cow every time I eat.
But though I smell like a can of expired meat,

You should know,
You should know I’m suitable.

If you look past the way that I dressed,
Like wearing short checkered flood pants up to my chest,
And collared shirts that are stained and need badly pressed,

You would know,
You would know I’m suitable.
For you, I am suitable.


So let us move
So I can prove
With two left feet – really, two –
I can groove.

And do not fret
If I feel wet.
I’m sensitive to your scent; it makes me sweat-et-et.

Everyone else in this room is dancing,
Everyone else but us.


Maybe I quote Monty P. and The Holy Grail.
The way I wheeze like a tea pot when I inhale.
So what if all of my jokes are so old and stale.

You should know
You should know I’m suitable.

If only you knew me, more or less.
On Saturdays, I watch cartoons on P.B.S.
The way I tip your king over when I play chess.

You would know
You would know I’m suitable.
Gosh, I am so suitable.

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na [x2]

Maybe I write with a pencil stuck in my nose.
So what if I act out all my favorite shows.
But as they say, every thorn, well it has its rose,

You should know
You should know I’m suitable.


Maybe I bite random people as they walk by.
Last time I checked, that’s a trait of an average guy.
And did you know I was born with a lazy eye?

You should know
You should know I’m suitable.


If you look past the way that I drool,
We could be standing right here, dancing in my pool.
Right now I’m watching you walk, thinking that ain’t cool.

You don’t know
You don’t know I’m suitable.
You don’t know I’m suitable.
I’m just so darn suitable!