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Song Parodies -> "In Peril (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"
Original Song Title:
"What Makes You Beautiful"
Original Performer:
One Direction
Parody Song Title:
"In Peril (from 'LOTR:OMG!')"
Parody Written by:
Wendy Christopher
The Lyrics
This one covers some of Merry and Pippin's misadventures following their abduction by the orcs. And since I've already cast four of One Direction as the hobbits, I've used another of their songs. As boybands go they're actually not too bad. And no, I can't believe I just said that either. ;^)
And here's a link to the original song.
And here's a link to the original song.
MERRY:
Oh holy crap
Looks like a trap
But if we leave Boromir takes the ra-a-ap
Just heard him whine
Not a good sign
Took enough arrows to look like a porcupine
PIPPIN:
Knew this would happen, the orcs kidnappin’
Picking on me and yoo-ou
BOTH:
Why can’t the bad stuff happen to somebody else?
Why are these orcs always fighting amongst themselves?
Where are Gimli, Aragorn and that poncey elf?
We don’t kno-o-ow… don’t they know we’re in per-il!
Orcs got attacked so we both got free
Escaped into Fangorn Forest eventually
But now we’ve both been picked up by a massive tree
They’re called Ents, y’know… think we might be in per-il!
Oh no – once again we’re in per-il!
Needn’t have feared
He’s called Treebeard
And he is friendly although he is we-e-eird
Such a surprise
Only tree-guys
How did the tree-ladies all meet their de-mi-i-ise?
MERRY:
But now he’s learnin’ his mates are burnin’
Chopped down by orcs it’s tru-ue
BOTH:
And now he says Saruman better stop or else
He and his big woody friends will be raising hell
As soon as he wakes them up, gets the chance to tell…
They don’t kno-o-ow… they don’t know they’re in per-il!
But first they must talk it out, y’see
Ca’nt do a thing until ev’ry last oak agrees
That they should do something maybe eventually
‘Cos who kno-o-ows? Could be that they’re in per-il…
This blows! Can’t they see they’re in per-il!
Blah blah-blah blah blah are they still talking..? This could take all ye-ar…
Ya yada-yah, this is really boring… we’ll both just wait he-re…
PIPPIN: Our Weathertop cooking fire drew the Ringwraiths near…
MERRY: That stiff you knocked down the mines made that troll appear…
PIPPIN: And someday I’ll sneak a peek in that palantir…
MERRY: But I don’t know-o-ow… why we’re always in per-il!
BOTH:
Well if you chargrill an Ent it aint hard to tell
You’re gonna tick off his mates, won’t go down too well
So now they’ve smashed up the dams let the waters swell
And then flo-o-ow… now the orcs are in per-il!
Can’t bend to Saruman’s every whim
While they are too busy wishing they’d learned to swim
And that tsunami should also take care of him
He can’t go-o-o…. tower-bound and in per-il!
Although… that might make him turn fer-al…
Oh no! That might put us in per-il!
Oh holy crap
Looks like a trap
But if we leave Boromir takes the ra-a-ap
Just heard him whine
Not a good sign
Took enough arrows to look like a porcupine
PIPPIN:
Knew this would happen, the orcs kidnappin’
Picking on me and yoo-ou
BOTH:
Why can’t the bad stuff happen to somebody else?
Why are these orcs always fighting amongst themselves?
Where are Gimli, Aragorn and that poncey elf?
We don’t kno-o-ow… don’t they know we’re in per-il!
Orcs got attacked so we both got free
Escaped into Fangorn Forest eventually
But now we’ve both been picked up by a massive tree
They’re called Ents, y’know… think we might be in per-il!
Oh no – once again we’re in per-il!
Needn’t have feared
He’s called Treebeard
And he is friendly although he is we-e-eird
Such a surprise
Only tree-guys
How did the tree-ladies all meet their de-mi-i-ise?
MERRY:
But now he’s learnin’ his mates are burnin’
Chopped down by orcs it’s tru-ue
BOTH:
And now he says Saruman better stop or else
He and his big woody friends will be raising hell
As soon as he wakes them up, gets the chance to tell…
They don’t kno-o-ow… they don’t know they’re in per-il!
But first they must talk it out, y’see
Ca’nt do a thing until ev’ry last oak agrees
That they should do something maybe eventually
‘Cos who kno-o-ows? Could be that they’re in per-il…
This blows! Can’t they see they’re in per-il!
Blah blah-blah blah blah are they still talking..? This could take all ye-ar…
Ya yada-yah, this is really boring… we’ll both just wait he-re…
PIPPIN: Our Weathertop cooking fire drew the Ringwraiths near…
MERRY: That stiff you knocked down the mines made that troll appear…
PIPPIN: And someday I’ll sneak a peek in that palantir…
MERRY: But I don’t know-o-ow… why we’re always in per-il!
BOTH:
Well if you chargrill an Ent it aint hard to tell
You’re gonna tick off his mates, won’t go down too well
So now they’ve smashed up the dams let the waters swell
And then flo-o-ow… now the orcs are in per-il!
Can’t bend to Saruman’s every whim
While they are too busy wishing they’d learned to swim
And that tsunami should also take care of him
He can’t go-o-o…. tower-bound and in per-il!
Although… that might make him turn fer-al…
Oh no! That might put us in per-il!
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User Comments
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Wendy - When your series ends, I'll experience the same feeling of sadness which I felt after I finished the last chapter of The Return Of The King. Keep these lovely gems coming. ;D
Another great one. Loved the last verse :)
I'm getting a contemporary pop education from your OS choices, though these boy bands aren't doing much to sway me from my oldies favorites. That said, a lot of thought is going in to these lyric conversions, and an obviously thorough knowledge of the material. I like the way here you've drawn on M & P's other escapades elsewhere in the story.
Factoids: John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) also voiced Treebeard - I think they slowed his voice down electronically so it's not easily recognizable; the tree-root entrapment incident actually occurred early on the journey in the Old Forest bordering the Shire, where they were rescued by the intriguing Tom Bombadil. It was never explained why he was totally immune to the One Ring's power. Walsh and Boyens decided, wisely I think, that Bombadil and the Scouring of the Shire, tied to Saruman's escape from Orthanc (which you hinted at with line 'might make him turn feral'), were too much to include and not essential to the Quest. But it would have been impossible for Grima to kill an Istari, as they were immortal Ainur - an inconvenient blooper in the screenplay.
Sorry if my commentary's a little long-winded, but I enjoy discussing the pros and cons of differences between the script and the books, as screen adaptations interest me greatly and your parodies lend the perfect opportunity. Oh nice work, by the way, lol.
You mentioned elsewhere that Tolkien lost his wife early. On the contrary, he was married to Edith for fifty years and by all accounts they were very close and doted on their children and grandchildren. He survived her by about eighteen months, and had Beren and Luthien inscribed on their gravestone, after the legendary elf-mortal romance in the Silmarillion which presaged that of Arwen and Aragorn. OK, OK, I'll shut up now.
Factoids: John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) also voiced Treebeard - I think they slowed his voice down electronically so it's not easily recognizable; the tree-root entrapment incident actually occurred early on the journey in the Old Forest bordering the Shire, where they were rescued by the intriguing Tom Bombadil. It was never explained why he was totally immune to the One Ring's power. Walsh and Boyens decided, wisely I think, that Bombadil and the Scouring of the Shire, tied to Saruman's escape from Orthanc (which you hinted at with line 'might make him turn feral'), were too much to include and not essential to the Quest. But it would have been impossible for Grima to kill an Istari, as they were immortal Ainur - an inconvenient blooper in the screenplay.
Sorry if my commentary's a little long-winded, but I enjoy discussing the pros and cons of differences between the script and the books, as screen adaptations interest me greatly and your parodies lend the perfect opportunity. Oh nice work, by the way, lol.
You mentioned elsewhere that Tolkien lost his wife early. On the contrary, he was married to Edith for fifty years and by all accounts they were very close and doted on their children and grandchildren. He survived her by about eighteen months, and had Beren and Luthien inscribed on their gravestone, after the legendary elf-mortal romance in the Silmarillion which presaged that of Arwen and Aragorn. OK, OK, I'll shut up now.
Splendid- 555!!!
Thanks for the lovely comments, everyone - much appreciated. :^)
@Ribber: I think I'll be quite sad too - I'm enjoying writing them! I have to admit, it's a nice break from the writing I *should* be doing right now... luckily I'm not on a deadline for it :^)
@Lifeliver: Aahh... I might have got that bit about Tolkien's wife confused with another writer then (it was part of a series that also covered, among others, the Bronte sisters, Johnathon Swift and John Bunyan.) And yes, Grima killing Saruman pinged on my antennae as well - after all, Gandalf came back from the dead when he was still grey! I don't mind the Tolkien discussions at all - in fact I love them. I'm always up for that. :^)
@Ribber: I think I'll be quite sad too - I'm enjoying writing them! I have to admit, it's a nice break from the writing I *should* be doing right now... luckily I'm not on a deadline for it :^)
@Lifeliver: Aahh... I might have got that bit about Tolkien's wife confused with another writer then (it was part of a series that also covered, among others, the Bronte sisters, Johnathon Swift and John Bunyan.) And yes, Grima killing Saruman pinged on my antennae as well - after all, Gandalf came back from the dead when he was still grey! I don't mind the Tolkien discussions at all - in fact I love them. I'm always up for that. :^)
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